It feels like forever since I last blogged, and yet it's only been two days.
That's what NaBloPoMo does to your brain; it makes it all efficient and stuff. I'm hoping that unfortunate ability gets turned off soon. I'm nothing if not a slacker. But how I loved that break; that glorious two-day break. I was able to watch Glee last night without thinking to myself 'Ok, so after the show I have to write something before I go into the hot tub, because after a soak I'll be too relaxed to do anything but sleep...'
See? I lead a life fraught with many challenges.
Since it's been a whopping 48 hours since my last post, I might want to do some updates on life in the Maven household.
For one, I'm starting to respond to emails again. I've been carrying tremendous guilt. For example, a long lost friend got in touch with me, I wrote her back, she wrote me back... and communication ended there. What little time I've had between a bazillion birthday parties, a disgusting amount of blogging, and all those other things I have to do in a day left me with little time to sit down and write stuff. Not only has said friend been ignored, but also the woman who advocates for my deaf children at school, and people from two committees I'm a member of.
I admit it: I was a giant pile of suck the last few weeks.
I figured I should update on a few things I talked about in the month of November. Why? Because that's about all my only slightly-caffeinated brain can come up with right now, that's why. I'm kind of a bitch before I get enough coffee in me, so I suggest you politely smile and keep reading if you know what's good for you.
The Sugar
I spoke about my sugar addiction, and how I had to cut the white stuff way back for a little while. I'm happy to say that's still happening. On the weekend I went to two birthday parties - including Intrepid's - and I did have a small piece of cake at each, but it ended there. Then last night, I tested the waters and had some donut holes (Timbits, for the Canucks) because I felt like having something sugary.
They were absolutely delicious.
But within a few minutes I felt awful: jittery, unfocused, anxious. I think the reason I never noticed before is that I was constantly feeding myself sugary stuff, whether it be in the form of a chocolate bar or a granola bar or some very sweet yogurt. I was never away from it long enough to notice the difference.
Lately, about the only sugar I tend to have most days is a spoonful in my oatmeal. Other than that, I stay away from it. So, it comes as no surprise that my un-sugary body reacted poorly to the invaders. Had I stopped at two or three Timbits like a normal person it probably wouldn't have happened. I had about ten of them and KABLAM! Super Maven was smacked down hard. I didn't like that feeling. Lesson learned.
I still eat fruit, whole grain breads and pasta, and am generally not afraid of carbs. I'm not counting calories, fat grams, or adding more exercise into my day right now. The result? My stomach is getting flatter, my jowls are less jowl-y, and I have more energy than I've had in years. Can we say "Borderline diabetic"? Oh, I think we can! If I can head off diabetes at the pass by being more mindful of my eating, all the better. And if I start looking excessively hot as a result, all the better.
Go team Maven!
Braces
Intrepid needs them. We visited the orthodontist the day after his thirteenth birthday. Fitting, really. The long and short of it is that Intrepid has a Class III underbite, which means his lower jaw is longer than it should be. Meanwhile, his upper palate is too small, the teeth are crowded, and if we don't do something now we're looking at some of the following in his future:
- Teeth jutting out the sides of his gums. Not exactly girlfriend-friendly
- Upper front teeth destroying lower front teeth by sitting on the back gums. I would have to seriously whore myself out (in a sexual way, with my eventual sugar-free slimness) to pay for implants, so let's not go there
- Lower jaw getting so long that, at the age of 21, they have to break it, remove a piece on each side, reset it and wire it shut for a few weeks while it heals. That sounds incredibly fun, doesn't it?
The bill? Somewhere around $8,000. I'm surprised my heart didn't stop right then and there. I'm sure a lot of it involves the high tech braces going onto his upper teeth to expand the jaw, but just walking into the orthodontic clinic gave me a very clear picture of what, exactly, we're paying for:
And yes, those are two of the three game consoles built into the walls of the playroom. The clinic itself is huge, brand new and state-of-the-art.
Pretty sweet, isn't it? I was too embarrassed to take a picture of the entire waiting area and instead made it look like I was only photographic my kids, but rest assured that every single parent had a smart phone and was dressed very nicely.
I see rich people.
Oh, and did I mention the robot in Texas that bends the titanium/nickel/some other metal wire to custom fit Intrepid's mouth every six to eight weeks? Or the specialized toothbrush that comes with his treatment? How about the self-serve single-shot coffee and tea station in the waiting area? Or the wheel kids can spin after a procedure that wins them anything from a $5 Dairy Queen coupon to a $25 HMV gift certificate? We're paying for extras at a high-end clinic, I'm sure. And yet, I'm pleased as punch we're going somewhere reputable and technologically advanced. I'll skimp in a lot of places, but when it comes to my gremlins' health, I don't want to mess around.
I'm happy to say that Geekster does have insurance, and that they should, theoretically, pay for half of this. Still, who knows? Insurance companies are crazy these days. This article scares me. Next thing we know, they'll say they've seen profile pictures of Intrepid on Facebook and he looks happy without braces, so they're denying the claim. Sheesh.
Debt
Ah, debt. I wrote about how we're sinking ever so slowly into a pile of it, and how I was crossing my fingers that our application to re-mortgage would be approved. When we visited the orthodontist, we hadn't heard a thing yet. So I came home with an $8000 estimate and no idea how we were going to pay our existing bills, let alone a new one.
And yet I didn't binge on sugar. I'm terribly proud of myself.
The next day - yesterday, for the record - we heard back: Mortgage approved. Everything should be done before the holidays. I'd like to say that means we're out of debt, but it actually means we get to spread the joy across 19 years. Still, it also means hundreds of dollars less every month in payments. We're canceling our line of credit and keeping only a small credit card for emergencies. This credit card, by the way, has a $1000 limit and we've told the company NOT to raise that limit without our permission. See? We can be responsible.
It also means I don't have to get one of those unfortunate job things, and instead stick to the occasional writing/editing contract. Thank goodness. All that time being a slave to the grind would really interfere with my sugar-free bonbon eating.
Learning to live on cash will be a challenge, but one we absolutely must do in order to not end up in this situation again. Any suggestions on how to save and what to save for are welcome. You be the teacher, I'll be your pupil.
That sounded kinky, didn't it? Don't run away in fear: I said I would only prostitute myself for implants.
Er... Tooth implants. Just so we're clear.
