Oh, I bet you were wondering if I was ever coming back to this dusty ol' thing, weren't you? Two whole days without a blog post? That's apocalyptic in nature! I'm not religious, but I believe this may be one of the four horsemen: conquest, war, famine and lack-of-blogging. I hope I haven't started some cataclysmic event.
If I have, I'm sorry. To make up for it, how about I buy us some pie while we watch the fall of humanity?
The reason for my absence has a lot to do with a certain two-year-old who's other front toof is just barely clinging to life. Looks like he has some decay that's about to kill it off if we don't do something about it very soon. He's sore and moody and stressing me out with his constant clingyness. Meanwhile I've begged, pleaded and offered sexual favours to virtually every kid-friendly dental clinic in the Ottawa area. I finally scored a timely appointment.
No, you probably shouldn't ask what I have to do for it.
While I love our dentist, I think Spawnling would launch himself out the second storey windows if I brought him back there anytime in the next year. We need a fresh face for his fear and rage to focus on so he can forget his nasty ordeal.
Tomorrow we see a dentist with televisions in the ceiling and access to drugs that can mellow the terror right out of my hoofed wonder. Still, after last week's mini vacation to the trauma chair I'm anything but excited about the endeavor.
Thankfully we're going to the boonies after school lets out to hang with Angelmama and crew. That should take the edge off after a potentially brutal day. I really enjoy hanging out with thosehicks country bumpkins country-dwellers. They're even letting the gremlins and I stay over for the night. Isn't that crazy fantastic of them?
Incidentally, tomorrow is the last day of school before March break in our area. We get it over with early around here so we can laugh at all the unfortunates who still have it to "look forward to". Those poor parents and caregivers who have blissfully forgotten the horrors of Christmas vacation and are excited for the "break" a week from school routines will give them.
I'm anticipating nothing short of pure and unbridled hell. I have a cupboard full of coffee and a stockpile of 10% cream awaiting my impending usage. There's also some duct tape downstairs and handcuffs from Gutsy's police kit if things get really bad.
If I survive the week I have the spa party the following weekend. The idea of replenishing my soul with a pedicure, pasta and dancing until my feet are ruined again will probably keep me breathing, even if at a shallow level. Heck, with any luck I'll lapse in and out of a coma for the few days prior and forget anything that happened while all three gremlins were home.
I must stop scaring myself and focus a little more on the present. This is one of the many things 12 step programs have taught me.
Did I mention that I was planning on homeschooling?
Did I also mention that I narrowly dodged yet another I'm-sure-I'm-more-than-capable-of-taking-this-on bullet? I've dodged a lot of those in my long years on this planet. Hey, hats off to the homeschoolers. I'm in no way putting you down. You raise the future generation from your kitchen table. What could be better than that?
On the other hand, I stay home with them for five years and then ship them off to be institutionalized. But, hey, sometimes they get homemade cookies as they walk in the door after a long day of learning to be part of the flock of sheep that make up our sickly society. That's pretty great, right?
The sensible Maven side of me tells me I should keep this short and sweet, as I have an early morning and a not-so-pleasant appointment to keep with a not-so-sleepy toddler. I just had to tuck him back into his pod with the help of my magical boobie milk to lull him back into a light slumber.
I'll update tomorrow on the fun, fun, fun! Fingers crossed that it will go well. The vanity side of me cannot imagine having a child with two missing front teeth for 3-5 years. Between he and Gutsy we're starting to look a little Deliverance 'round here. Last time I checked I did not own a canoe or a banjo, thanks. But I do gots a purdy mouth.
If I have, I'm sorry. To make up for it, how about I buy us some pie while we watch the fall of humanity?
The reason for my absence has a lot to do with a certain two-year-old who's other front toof is just barely clinging to life. Looks like he has some decay that's about to kill it off if we don't do something about it very soon. He's sore and moody and stressing me out with his constant clingyness. Meanwhile I've begged, pleaded and offered sexual favours to virtually every kid-friendly dental clinic in the Ottawa area. I finally scored a timely appointment.
No, you probably shouldn't ask what I have to do for it.
While I love our dentist, I think Spawnling would launch himself out the second storey windows if I brought him back there anytime in the next year. We need a fresh face for his fear and rage to focus on so he can forget his nasty ordeal.
Tomorrow we see a dentist with televisions in the ceiling and access to drugs that can mellow the terror right out of my hoofed wonder. Still, after last week's mini vacation to the trauma chair I'm anything but excited about the endeavor.
Thankfully we're going to the boonies after school lets out to hang with Angelmama and crew. That should take the edge off after a potentially brutal day. I really enjoy hanging out with those
Incidentally, tomorrow is the last day of school before March break in our area. We get it over with early around here so we can laugh at all the unfortunates who still have it to "look forward to". Those poor parents and caregivers who have blissfully forgotten the horrors of Christmas vacation and are excited for the "break" a week from school routines will give them.
I'm anticipating nothing short of pure and unbridled hell. I have a cupboard full of coffee and a stockpile of 10% cream awaiting my impending usage. There's also some duct tape downstairs and handcuffs from Gutsy's police kit if things get really bad.
If I survive the week I have the spa party the following weekend. The idea of replenishing my soul with a pedicure, pasta and dancing until my feet are ruined again will probably keep me breathing, even if at a shallow level. Heck, with any luck I'll lapse in and out of a coma for the few days prior and forget anything that happened while all three gremlins were home.
I must stop scaring myself and focus a little more on the present. This is one of the many things 12 step programs have taught me.
Did I mention that I was planning on homeschooling?
Did I also mention that I narrowly dodged yet another I'm-sure-I'm-more-than-capable-of-taking-this-on bullet? I've dodged a lot of those in my long years on this planet. Hey, hats off to the homeschoolers. I'm in no way putting you down. You raise the future generation from your kitchen table. What could be better than that?
On the other hand, I stay home with them for five years and then ship them off to be institutionalized. But, hey, sometimes they get homemade cookies as they walk in the door after a long day of learning to be part of the flock of sheep that make up our sickly society. That's pretty great, right?
The sensible Maven side of me tells me I should keep this short and sweet, as I have an early morning and a not-so-pleasant appointment to keep with a not-so-sleepy toddler. I just had to tuck him back into his pod with the help of my magical boobie milk to lull him back into a light slumber.
I'll update tomorrow on the fun, fun, fun! Fingers crossed that it will go well. The vanity side of me cannot imagine having a child with two missing front teeth for 3-5 years. Between he and Gutsy we're starting to look a little Deliverance 'round here. Last time I checked I did not own a canoe or a banjo, thanks. But I do gots a purdy mouth.