Meet the ark

I had to post something new because I get scared every time I load my blog page. I have crazy eyes. I didn't know that. Apparently when me and Tofurky get together we make me look like a serial killer. That is so not cool.

I'm hosting a "moms night" on Friday evening. Moms night is when you have women you know and women you barely know and women you don't know at all but know other women you know or barely know over to your house for a night of food and small talk. It started out as a way for playgroup moms to get to know each other without having to wipe snot off a preschooler or stop a toddler from eating purple sand. It's a fun time, except when you have to host it.

By Friday afternoon I should have a clean house and some appetizers prepared for the ladies. Today was a cleaning day, and so far I've swept a floor and put some dishes in the dishwasher and hung out some clothes on the line.

I'm so terribly motivated.

Oh, I've cleaned up some urine, too. From this guy:



This is our new dog, Shadow. He's been with us just over a week. Shadow is three and has a slight tinkle problem. He likes to put wee-wee on my carpet, drapes, ottoman and any laundry basket he finds on the floor. Other than that he's an excellent dog: Loyal, affectionate, protective and very mellow. We love him dearly. We just have to teach him not to sprinkle yellow sunshine all over the house. It smells bad enough in here already.

He did encourage me to pick up a new carpet cleaner, though. It makes my house smell pretty. I'm going to continue spot cleaning until Friday morning, when I shall treat the entire area in 'pet cleaner rug shampoo'. Chemicals? What chemicals? Who cares? My rug smells nice and isn't that what really matters?

To curb his little "problem", we're going to get him fixed ASAP. I'm also taking he and Taylor for at least two walks every day, which is great exercise for me.

Taylor is my five-year-old daughter. Doesn't she look a lot like me?


That's her trying desperately to get attention. It's tight competition around here. We also have:


Matrix, the girl cat with the boy name who was NOT named after the movie, but after the mathematical whatzit that only smart people like me know about.

And...


Simba, who was most definitely named after the Lion King character before we stupidly realized that absolutely we and everyone else named their cat Simba in 1994. He's an old bugger who has outlived a dog and two other cats and survived being at the mercy of three - count them, three - boys. I believe he may be a vampire.

And, finally, we have two of these. I took a picture of Buddy the rabbit, but we also have his brother, Squiggles:


Their cage is dirty, I just realized. That's nasty. I should probably get the kids to change that.

Gutsy asked me once why Squiggles loves Buddy so much. It turned out that Squiggles was "hugging" his bunny brother a lot. He was hugging his bum over and over and over and...

Oh my.

Incestuous bunnies.

It's a good thing I don't put any soap in the cage for Buddy to drop, or there might be a lot more hugging going on.

So that's the family. I must go. Spawnling is going between hitting random keys on my laptop and pinching my arm. Time for another toddler time out!