I thought I would post some do's and don't's for parents who are or will be seeking daycare for their child. Some of this advice is based on firsthand experience, while some is collected from friends and family who've run or worked at daycare centers. Did you think we don't talk about these things? Oh, you had better believe we do! It makes for some very interesting conversation, let me tell you.
#1. Should I pick a "learning center" or a "daycare"?
Whether it's a "childcare center", a "child learning center", a "home away from home for young explorers", a "learning center for future nobel prize winners" or a "learning experience for the exceptional infant", it's still a daycare. I've heard of people getting turned on by the name of a daycare and they'll pay top dollar to put their child there. People, it's a daycare. No matter how you want to package it, it's still a place that will hopefully do a good job at caring for your child while you're unable to. Just pick a provider that oozes maternal instinct. That's really the key here. Whether or not crafts are done every day or once a week pales in comparison to how loving the place is.
#2 My child is on a strict schedule at home that I would like him to follow at daycare. Is this reasonable?
Let me answer your question with another question: If you had, say, six children in your care and every single one of those children had their own unique schedule that had to be strictly adhered to, would someone find you at the end of the day in a dark corner in the basement wearing bunny slippers and pulling apart dryer lint, mumbling something incoherent? I'll take 'Insane in the Membrane' for $1000, Alex.
Everyone wants their child to feel comfortable at daycare. But unfortunately something has to give when it comes to schedules. If you want a happy childcare provider, she needs this special time called "downtime". It's something similar to lunch time at the office, except that her lunch time is spent serving, cleaning, pouring, cleaning, wiping hands, cleaning and finally eating standing up if she's lucky. So if everyone's child has a nap or 'quiet' time say, around 1pm, then she can FINALLY sit down and take a break. I never realized until I got pregnant how little I actually get to sit down. And I don't even have a full house! So cut your provider some slack and let her gently work your little one into the schedule she has in place. It will mean happier times for everyone.
#3. I trust my daycare provider, but I don't want her to drive my child around in her vehicle.
That's like saying 'I trust my childcare provider, but I don't want her to have any semblance of a life for 10 hours a day. She is to be a social recluse who must plan ahead for every incident that could lead to her leaving the house with her car keys'. Daycare is a chaotic job (see above). There are no real breaks, no guaranteed downtime and planning is acheived with great difficulty. It's also a social wasteland for a lot of providers. People don't realize how much social interaction they get at work. I went back to work for a year when my son was 10 months old. Part-time mind you, but it was like winning the lottery in some ways. Wow! People to talk to. No children around. This is good-golly incredible.
Don't sweat having your daycare provider take the kids out. Make sure she has carseats for everyone and that she knows how to properly install them. Make sure she takes them to safe places. But let her get out and breathe and socialize so she doesn't burn out. It's good for the kids, too. In my opinion, the more of a 'normal' environment the kids have, the better. They have plenty of time for organized school-like environments in, well, school. Children learn a lot when they're at the supermarket or the museum or at a playdate with other kids. Moreso than if they're stuck in a house or a center all day, every day, with only routine trips to the neighbourhood park.
#4. My daycare provider wants to take PAID VACATION!!! What the hell is the matter with her?
Um, yeah. This is always a sore spot for some people. But let's break it down: is looking after your children an important job? If you value the good job your provider is doing, then she deserves the same as anyone else. Paid vacation is fairly commonplace and it's the law in most areas. Even if it isn't, she still deserves to take some time off without worrying about her bills not being paid. I know a couple who rants regularly about how their childcare provider made them sign a contract with paid vacation included. It burns my britches, let me tell you. Both these people get paid time off, but for some reason their provider isn't considered worthy/important/human enough to deserve that without a fight.
#5. My childcare provider seemed a little annoyed when I picked my daughter up. I've been on vacation all week and have kept my child in daycare so I can get some rest. I pay for the spot, so why shouldn't I use it?
A lot of childcare providers are stay-at-home-moms, or were until their children went to school and are now working so they can be home when their kids get off the bus. You're dealingn with people who really value the time they spend with their children. So the annoyance is probably twofold:
A) They feel you should be spending time with your kids when you have vacation. Don't your children deserve a vacation, too?
B) By putting your child in daycare when they don't need to be there (read: you have no appointments, you're not too sick to watch your child, you're not at work or at school), you're probably taking child and mom time away from your provider, too. That can make a provider feel very resentful, however irrationally. Because yes, while you're technically paying for the spot, it would be nice if she could get a bit of a break when you can give her one. You know how people leave work early on a Friday? That kind of thing.
***
There's so much more. SO much more. And then there's the other side of the coin: childcare providers that could make any parent's skin crawl. Like the one down the road who screams at the children all the time. I don't know if I'd want to pay someone money to yell at my child every day. I can do that just fine on my own, thanks. Or the ones who feed the kids junk all the time and lie to the parents about it so they can save food money and pocket the rest for themselves. I could go on there, too.
Anyway, it's friday and I'm done for the week. YAY!! Only 3.5 more days to go. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least I've taken off the bunny slippers and stopped playing with dryer lint.
#1. Should I pick a "learning center" or a "daycare"?
Whether it's a "childcare center", a "child learning center", a "home away from home for young explorers", a "learning center for future nobel prize winners" or a "learning experience for the exceptional infant", it's still a daycare. I've heard of people getting turned on by the name of a daycare and they'll pay top dollar to put their child there. People, it's a daycare. No matter how you want to package it, it's still a place that will hopefully do a good job at caring for your child while you're unable to. Just pick a provider that oozes maternal instinct. That's really the key here. Whether or not crafts are done every day or once a week pales in comparison to how loving the place is.
#2 My child is on a strict schedule at home that I would like him to follow at daycare. Is this reasonable?
Let me answer your question with another question: If you had, say, six children in your care and every single one of those children had their own unique schedule that had to be strictly adhered to, would someone find you at the end of the day in a dark corner in the basement wearing bunny slippers and pulling apart dryer lint, mumbling something incoherent? I'll take 'Insane in the Membrane' for $1000, Alex.
Everyone wants their child to feel comfortable at daycare. But unfortunately something has to give when it comes to schedules. If you want a happy childcare provider, she needs this special time called "downtime". It's something similar to lunch time at the office, except that her lunch time is spent serving, cleaning, pouring, cleaning, wiping hands, cleaning and finally eating standing up if she's lucky. So if everyone's child has a nap or 'quiet' time say, around 1pm, then she can FINALLY sit down and take a break. I never realized until I got pregnant how little I actually get to sit down. And I don't even have a full house! So cut your provider some slack and let her gently work your little one into the schedule she has in place. It will mean happier times for everyone.
#3. I trust my daycare provider, but I don't want her to drive my child around in her vehicle.
That's like saying 'I trust my childcare provider, but I don't want her to have any semblance of a life for 10 hours a day. She is to be a social recluse who must plan ahead for every incident that could lead to her leaving the house with her car keys'. Daycare is a chaotic job (see above). There are no real breaks, no guaranteed downtime and planning is acheived with great difficulty. It's also a social wasteland for a lot of providers. People don't realize how much social interaction they get at work. I went back to work for a year when my son was 10 months old. Part-time mind you, but it was like winning the lottery in some ways. Wow! People to talk to. No children around. This is good-golly incredible.
Don't sweat having your daycare provider take the kids out. Make sure she has carseats for everyone and that she knows how to properly install them. Make sure she takes them to safe places. But let her get out and breathe and socialize so she doesn't burn out. It's good for the kids, too. In my opinion, the more of a 'normal' environment the kids have, the better. They have plenty of time for organized school-like environments in, well, school. Children learn a lot when they're at the supermarket or the museum or at a playdate with other kids. Moreso than if they're stuck in a house or a center all day, every day, with only routine trips to the neighbourhood park.
#4. My daycare provider wants to take PAID VACATION!!! What the hell is the matter with her?
Um, yeah. This is always a sore spot for some people. But let's break it down: is looking after your children an important job? If you value the good job your provider is doing, then she deserves the same as anyone else. Paid vacation is fairly commonplace and it's the law in most areas. Even if it isn't, she still deserves to take some time off without worrying about her bills not being paid. I know a couple who rants regularly about how their childcare provider made them sign a contract with paid vacation included. It burns my britches, let me tell you. Both these people get paid time off, but for some reason their provider isn't considered worthy/important/human enough to deserve that without a fight.
#5. My childcare provider seemed a little annoyed when I picked my daughter up. I've been on vacation all week and have kept my child in daycare so I can get some rest. I pay for the spot, so why shouldn't I use it?
A lot of childcare providers are stay-at-home-moms, or were until their children went to school and are now working so they can be home when their kids get off the bus. You're dealingn with people who really value the time they spend with their children. So the annoyance is probably twofold:
A) They feel you should be spending time with your kids when you have vacation. Don't your children deserve a vacation, too?
B) By putting your child in daycare when they don't need to be there (read: you have no appointments, you're not too sick to watch your child, you're not at work or at school), you're probably taking child and mom time away from your provider, too. That can make a provider feel very resentful, however irrationally. Because yes, while you're technically paying for the spot, it would be nice if she could get a bit of a break when you can give her one. You know how people leave work early on a Friday? That kind of thing.
***
There's so much more. SO much more. And then there's the other side of the coin: childcare providers that could make any parent's skin crawl. Like the one down the road who screams at the children all the time. I don't know if I'd want to pay someone money to yell at my child every day. I can do that just fine on my own, thanks. Or the ones who feed the kids junk all the time and lie to the parents about it so they can save food money and pocket the rest for themselves. I could go on there, too.
Anyway, it's friday and I'm done for the week. YAY!! Only 3.5 more days to go. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least I've taken off the bunny slippers and stopped playing with dryer lint.