Did anyone get the Britney Spears reference? Come on. It's at least worth a polite smile if not a small chuckle.
It says in my 'about me' (that useless tripe I wrote when I had yet to post anything in here) that I'm expecting a third baby. My friends know all about this hilarious turn of events, but I figured I would share the story here so other people could fully appreciate how life enjoys throwing my family nifty curveballs.
We had our first child in 1996. He was diagnosed with hearing loss just over two years ago at the age of seven, after going through hell and back at home, at school and in his social life. People first thought he might be autistic because he had oodles of sensory issues and some wicked tantrums. When he got to kindergarten we were strongly encouraged to have him evaluated. After selling one of my kidneys to pay for a psychological evaluation, we got a spiffy report on beautiful paper outlining the 'severe, classic case of ADHD' that Intrepid apparently had. It was probably caused by oxygen deprivation at birth, you know. And he would need medication and an aide in the class to help with his behaviour. Oh, and he'd never function at even an average level academically. He would struggle throughout so we might want to consider outside tutoring.
I've often thought about writing the psychologist with the following:
Dear Mr. I Have Over Twelve Years of Experience Diagnosing Learning Disabled Children and Know What I'm Talking About:
I realize that I'm just a mother with no formal medical training and can only rely on that useless instict I was given to muddle through my children's upbringing, but I was wondering something: When you make a diagnosis like this, how's about suggesting the parents get a full medical workup of the child done first, including hearing and vision testing? Because, you know, if they don't, and they don't know any better because they're young, first-time parents, they might just go ahead and listen to your $1200.00 evaluation and decide that you MUST be right, since you're the expert. And then their child can go on drugs they don't need and spend the rest of their life slipping through the cracks because THEY CAN'T HEAR.
Thankfully, we decided that we might want to do the routine things that nobody suggested (including our son's doctor) before medicating him instead of taking your report as gospel truth (like our son's doctor did) . He now has two hearing aids, reads and writes well beyond his grade level and is at the top of his class academically. And he has friends. And he plays piano like his teacher has never seen. And he's an AWESOME kid. Without ADHD. Because, you know, he can hear now and that helps. Imagine that.
Please cover the basics next time.
Love, The Maven.
We take some responsibility in his lack of diagnosis as well. Heck, we didn't get Gutsy's hearing test under way until he was 2 (it took until he was 3 to finally get in to see somebody). And sure enough, he also has hearing loss. Less than his brother, but enough that he needs hearing aids and speech therapy. He talks a mile a minute, but his pronunciation is the suck a lot of the time.
Anyway, after Gutsy's diagnosis this winter we decided that was it. No more kiddoes. There's obviously some genetic factor at play and we don't yet know what it is. So we were talking about taking permanent birth control measures. I came home, cried my eyes out and tearily told my daycare parents I would be closing down permanently so I could focus on my two children and their needs.
But um, suddenly I was tired all the time. Like, REALLY tired. I was drinking coffee like it was going out of style. I couldn't get enough sleep. So I grabbed the calendar one day and I started counting. My 30 day cycle was now at 34 days. Hmm, must be because Gutsy had been sleeping through the night and was nursing once a day at that point, if that. So my cycle was screwy. But you know, I had to run out anyway so I'd grab a pee stick just to make sure.
Phew. Negative! Thank goodness for that. I'll just pick it up and throw it out now and... er... um...
Oh crap.
That's a line.
No no, I'm seeing things. I do NOT get pregnant by accident. I mean, I did once when I was 19, but that was before PCOS and four years of TTC and a miscarriage and finally a baby after a LOT of work. Only other people get pregnant without trying.
Um, no. That's a blue line. Two blue lines on a test means pregnant, right? I'll just check this under various lights in the house to make sure.
Yep, two lines.
So how do I tell Geekster? "Hey, honey! Remember how we weren't going to have more kids because we have two with special needs as it is? Remember how happy we were to have finally made that decision? How my body was shutting down hormonally anyway because we'd been having unprotected sex for three years and I hadn't done gotten knocked up? Yeah, about that..."
As it turns out, right around the time I was sitting down in the audiologist's office while she explained to me that we had some genetic issues at play, some swimmy little sperm were greeting an egg which was magically floating down to my uterus. A few days later I had very sharp pains that I thought might be the return of some ovarian cysts.
And The Maven doesn't recognize implantation cramping after having had two children. I told you I wasn't that bright.
So it took a few days, or weeks, to get excited. First I was shocked and scared. Did you know that we only conceive in March? Three pregnancies, all conceived in March. Two babies made it and were both born in November. This one was conceived in January and is due in October. That was the first shocker. It took a while to wrap my head around that.
Then I got soooooo nauseous. No, wait. I need to emphasize that: soooooooo nauseous. There. So it was hard to be excited then, too.
And this was a girl, btw. A little girl. I could feel it in my bones. A daughter. Because it was a surprise and SHE was due in a different month, she would break tradition and be our little girl.
A few weeks later, after telling the world that I was sure it was a daughter, we found out our daughter has a penis. So either she's very manly or we're having a boy baby.
That's the first time I've been wrong about these things. But as Meatloaf once said 'Don't be sad. Two out of three ain't bad." Thanks, Meatloaf.
We called him Jackson and we're excited to meet him. The boys are ecstatic to be having a brother and I'm so happy we can reuse all those cute little baby outfits! Talk about savings! And heck, boys are so cute. I heart baby boys. I also heart baby girls, but I have two sweet little neices and many friends with daughters I can spoil. Three boys suits us just fine. We'll just buy a big farm and let them run around. Like dogs and horses. I initially wrote 'like dogs and pigs', but I don't think I've ever seen a pig run. Must be pretty damn funny to watch, though.
One kink in the plans: Having two hearing impaired boys, we're awaiting a (very early this time) diagnosis of hearing loss. Everyone tells me that I shouldn't think that way and that he might not have any loss, but I'm not getting my hopes up. The scary part is, this boy doesn't startle to loud noise. The other two did, but he doesn't. He moves a lot, but I can't say it's to sound. That worries me a bit. Still, we just don't know. So we'll wait it out and have his ears tested when he's born. And every six months thereafter. Hopefully he's just a mellow baby.
And if you know us and our children at all, you know that we don't do 'mellow' around here. But I'm hoping that third time's a charm!
Anyway, that's the VERY long story of baby Jackson. I'm 26 weeks into the pregnancy right now and enjoying every bit. But I'm excited, too. Another baby! I can't help but feel an amazing sense of gratitude for this little boy we didn't think we'd ever have (or want to have) and is now kicking my tummy and making it hard to type. Gotta love 'em.
It says in my 'about me' (that useless tripe I wrote when I had yet to post anything in here) that I'm expecting a third baby. My friends know all about this hilarious turn of events, but I figured I would share the story here so other people could fully appreciate how life enjoys throwing my family nifty curveballs.
We had our first child in 1996. He was diagnosed with hearing loss just over two years ago at the age of seven, after going through hell and back at home, at school and in his social life. People first thought he might be autistic because he had oodles of sensory issues and some wicked tantrums. When he got to kindergarten we were strongly encouraged to have him evaluated. After selling one of my kidneys to pay for a psychological evaluation, we got a spiffy report on beautiful paper outlining the 'severe, classic case of ADHD' that Intrepid apparently had. It was probably caused by oxygen deprivation at birth, you know. And he would need medication and an aide in the class to help with his behaviour. Oh, and he'd never function at even an average level academically. He would struggle throughout so we might want to consider outside tutoring.
I've often thought about writing the psychologist with the following:
Dear Mr. I Have Over Twelve Years of Experience Diagnosing Learning Disabled Children and Know What I'm Talking About:
I realize that I'm just a mother with no formal medical training and can only rely on that useless instict I was given to muddle through my children's upbringing, but I was wondering something: When you make a diagnosis like this, how's about suggesting the parents get a full medical workup of the child done first, including hearing and vision testing? Because, you know, if they don't, and they don't know any better because they're young, first-time parents, they might just go ahead and listen to your $1200.00 evaluation and decide that you MUST be right, since you're the expert. And then their child can go on drugs they don't need and spend the rest of their life slipping through the cracks because THEY CAN'T HEAR.
Thankfully, we decided that we might want to do the routine things that nobody suggested (including our son's doctor) before medicating him instead of taking your report as gospel truth (like our son's doctor did) . He now has two hearing aids, reads and writes well beyond his grade level and is at the top of his class academically. And he has friends. And he plays piano like his teacher has never seen. And he's an AWESOME kid. Without ADHD. Because, you know, he can hear now and that helps. Imagine that.
Please cover the basics next time.
Love, The Maven.
We take some responsibility in his lack of diagnosis as well. Heck, we didn't get Gutsy's hearing test under way until he was 2 (it took until he was 3 to finally get in to see somebody). And sure enough, he also has hearing loss. Less than his brother, but enough that he needs hearing aids and speech therapy. He talks a mile a minute, but his pronunciation is the suck a lot of the time.
Anyway, after Gutsy's diagnosis this winter we decided that was it. No more kiddoes. There's obviously some genetic factor at play and we don't yet know what it is. So we were talking about taking permanent birth control measures. I came home, cried my eyes out and tearily told my daycare parents I would be closing down permanently so I could focus on my two children and their needs.
But um, suddenly I was tired all the time. Like, REALLY tired. I was drinking coffee like it was going out of style. I couldn't get enough sleep. So I grabbed the calendar one day and I started counting. My 30 day cycle was now at 34 days. Hmm, must be because Gutsy had been sleeping through the night and was nursing once a day at that point, if that. So my cycle was screwy. But you know, I had to run out anyway so I'd grab a pee stick just to make sure.
Phew. Negative! Thank goodness for that. I'll just pick it up and throw it out now and... er... um...
Oh crap.
That's a line.
No no, I'm seeing things. I do NOT get pregnant by accident. I mean, I did once when I was 19, but that was before PCOS and four years of TTC and a miscarriage and finally a baby after a LOT of work. Only other people get pregnant without trying.
Um, no. That's a blue line. Two blue lines on a test means pregnant, right? I'll just check this under various lights in the house to make sure.
Yep, two lines.
So how do I tell Geekster? "Hey, honey! Remember how we weren't going to have more kids because we have two with special needs as it is? Remember how happy we were to have finally made that decision? How my body was shutting down hormonally anyway because we'd been having unprotected sex for three years and I hadn't done gotten knocked up? Yeah, about that..."
As it turns out, right around the time I was sitting down in the audiologist's office while she explained to me that we had some genetic issues at play, some swimmy little sperm were greeting an egg which was magically floating down to my uterus. A few days later I had very sharp pains that I thought might be the return of some ovarian cysts.
And The Maven doesn't recognize implantation cramping after having had two children. I told you I wasn't that bright.
So it took a few days, or weeks, to get excited. First I was shocked and scared. Did you know that we only conceive in March? Three pregnancies, all conceived in March. Two babies made it and were both born in November. This one was conceived in January and is due in October. That was the first shocker. It took a while to wrap my head around that.
Then I got soooooo nauseous. No, wait. I need to emphasize that: soooooooo nauseous. There. So it was hard to be excited then, too.
And this was a girl, btw. A little girl. I could feel it in my bones. A daughter. Because it was a surprise and SHE was due in a different month, she would break tradition and be our little girl.
A few weeks later, after telling the world that I was sure it was a daughter, we found out our daughter has a penis. So either she's very manly or we're having a boy baby.
That's the first time I've been wrong about these things. But as Meatloaf once said 'Don't be sad. Two out of three ain't bad." Thanks, Meatloaf.
We called him Jackson and we're excited to meet him. The boys are ecstatic to be having a brother and I'm so happy we can reuse all those cute little baby outfits! Talk about savings! And heck, boys are so cute. I heart baby boys. I also heart baby girls, but I have two sweet little neices and many friends with daughters I can spoil. Three boys suits us just fine. We'll just buy a big farm and let them run around. Like dogs and horses. I initially wrote 'like dogs and pigs', but I don't think I've ever seen a pig run. Must be pretty damn funny to watch, though.
One kink in the plans: Having two hearing impaired boys, we're awaiting a (very early this time) diagnosis of hearing loss. Everyone tells me that I shouldn't think that way and that he might not have any loss, but I'm not getting my hopes up. The scary part is, this boy doesn't startle to loud noise. The other two did, but he doesn't. He moves a lot, but I can't say it's to sound. That worries me a bit. Still, we just don't know. So we'll wait it out and have his ears tested when he's born. And every six months thereafter. Hopefully he's just a mellow baby.
And if you know us and our children at all, you know that we don't do 'mellow' around here. But I'm hoping that third time's a charm!
Anyway, that's the VERY long story of baby Jackson. I'm 26 weeks into the pregnancy right now and enjoying every bit. But I'm excited, too. Another baby! I can't help but feel an amazing sense of gratitude for this little boy we didn't think we'd ever have (or want to have) and is now kicking my tummy and making it hard to type. Gotta love 'em.