Tonight, when Geekster and I were out shopping for Gutsy's birthday, I pointed out my very favourite slippers and hinted that they'd make a great Christmas gift.
Then, when we went back to the minivan, I took out the hand cream I use religiously on my cracked, eczema riddled hands, and mentioned that some more of said cream would be a great stocking stuffer.
He snickered ever-so-quietly when I mentioned it.
"What?" I asked.
He snickered again. "Nothing, honey."
"WHAT?" I demanded in a definitely unquiet manner.
"Nothing... It's just that, well, hand cream and slippers for Christmas? Are you eighty?"
It dawned on me then that, at the age of 33, I am really fucking old.
I got home, sat down in my favourite armchair (*snicker*), put my feet up on the ottoman (*snicker*) and grabbed the remote to see if I could find a good documentary on Discovery (*snicker* *snort* *snicker*)
I got a text message from my sister asking me if I wanted to go out for coffee. I only hesitantly said yes because, let's face it, I had just sat down for the evening. Having to get back up again sounded like a lot of wasted energy. What got me was the fact that she was high on painkillers. Don't get me wrong: I'm sorry she has a suspected kidney infection and needs something to take the edge off. But if you've ever seen my sister intoxicated on anything whatsoever, you know it's worth the trip out.
Besides, Photo Lush is eight years my junior. Hanging out with someone in their mid-20's would more than compensate for my geriatric Christmas list, right?
I picked her up at 8:45PM. We went to the coffee shop and had herbal tea and paninis. Unfortunately, her narcotic haze was nothing more than a mellow trickle and was barely noticeable. We talked about weddings, trips planned anywhere from six months to three years in advance, bus tours in historic cities, and kids' birthday parties. I dropped her off at 9:30.
My plans for the rest of the evening? Blog, then hot tub, then early bed to read my library book. My sister's plans? Old episodes of Felicity on DVD and planning out what movies we're going to watch when we wrap gifts later this month.
I feel a bit better now. I may be really fucking old, but so is my sister.