Admittedly, I really suck at receiving blog awards, which is probably why very few people award them to me anymore.
But sometimes, a person quite ignorant to my years of slackdom, comes along and hands me over something shiny, like this:
Thanks, Mandy! (I'm not thanking myself, just so we're clear. The cool chick who gifted me shares my real life, non-interweb, super secret name.)
The Sunshine Award. It could mean so many things, could it not? Perhaps I was given it because I glow radiantly, like a large ball of life-giving fire. Maybe the sheer idea of me not blogging would be like the sun ceasing to burn, causing the end of the internet. Gosh, there are so many possibilities running through my mind, and all of them are just as - if not more - pompous.
What do you expect? I'm a maven -- it's my job to be like this.
It's not like I don't deserve awards, of course. I blog at least... once a week. And when I blog I'm even kind of funny, sometimes. There are even days when I'm not being sarcastic or bitchy in the slightest in order to avoid having some of my more politically correct readers choke on their tears of disgust. Because, hey, if you're politically correct, you should totally be reading my posts. I practically scream social correctness.
(Did you detect the sarcastic tone? And the bitchy, too? Thank you. It was rather impressive, wasn't it?)
So, why don't I typically accept awards graciously and do as I'm told by passing along the joy to others? Because I am a giant procrastinator, that's why. I have the very best of intentions, I really do. I really, really want to do what I'm told because I'm a good girl who obeys the rules. (Yes, that last sentence was sarcasm again. Good catch!) The problem is that I get busy herding gremlins, cleaning their nests, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine. Days go by, then weeks, and I simply forget. By the time I remember, it's just far too late to do it.
This time, however, things will be different. I will not let Mandy down. Not just because I need to prove I'm not always lazy (only on pizza nights), but because having something shiny with which to show off my awesomeness is always useful. Sadly, there are days when I need to flash my blog bling in the eyes of naysayers, rendering them temporarily blind. Once the pain and awe subside, they always come back for more. Possibly because they've heard rumors that deep down I may have something resembling humility in my soul.
Why are you shaking your head at me? Is there an award for bloggers who show humility? No? Well, then, I see no reason to be modest if I'm not going to get a trophy to show off my humbleness with. You can see the bind I'm in.
But I didn't say I was the only awesome blogger out there, did I? Hell, no. I share the spotlight sometimes, you know. As part of accepting this award, I'm going to list 12 of them. You can go check them out, befriend them, and then talk about how grandiose I am. They'll understand.
If your blog is listed and you decide to accept this award (Why wouldn't you? It's not smothered in herpes or anything), please find 12 more awesome people to give it to. That's how it works. It's like one of those annoying chain letters, but without the threat of death or dismemberment.
12 Blogs That The Maven Likes to Read and Give Awards to and Stuff:
The Single Screenwriter
Chasing Blue Sky
Jobthingy's Jungle
meanoldmommy
WackyMummy
From Nat's Brain
Canadian Bald Guy
Party of 3
XUP
Not just about cancer
Sunshine on My Shoulder
As told by Kat
These are some of my favourite people, and if I could I would read them every day. Unfortunately, this life thingy takes me so far away from the computer lately that I scarcely have time to tell them how amazing they are. The nice thing about giving them some blog award love is that I have an excuse to go read their work and comment on it; Something I haven't done for a long time. I'm betting they'll be weeping with joy.
Oh, they won't admit it, but they will be. Trust me. I have that affect on people. It must be my thick coating of humility. It's like lacquer - you can see right through it.
But sometimes, a person quite ignorant to my years of slackdom, comes along and hands me over something shiny, like this:
Thanks, Mandy! (I'm not thanking myself, just so we're clear. The cool chick who gifted me shares my real life, non-interweb, super secret name.)
The Sunshine Award. It could mean so many things, could it not? Perhaps I was given it because I glow radiantly, like a large ball of life-giving fire. Maybe the sheer idea of me not blogging would be like the sun ceasing to burn, causing the end of the internet. Gosh, there are so many possibilities running through my mind, and all of them are just as - if not more - pompous.
What do you expect? I'm a maven -- it's my job to be like this.
It's not like I don't deserve awards, of course. I blog at least... once a week. And when I blog I'm even kind of funny, sometimes. There are even days when I'm not being sarcastic or bitchy in the slightest in order to avoid having some of my more politically correct readers choke on their tears of disgust. Because, hey, if you're politically correct, you should totally be reading my posts. I practically scream social correctness.
(Did you detect the sarcastic tone? And the bitchy, too? Thank you. It was rather impressive, wasn't it?)
So, why don't I typically accept awards graciously and do as I'm told by passing along the joy to others? Because I am a giant procrastinator, that's why. I have the very best of intentions, I really do. I really, really want to do what I'm told because I'm a good girl who obeys the rules. (Yes, that last sentence was sarcasm again. Good catch!) The problem is that I get busy herding gremlins, cleaning their nests, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine. Days go by, then weeks, and I simply forget. By the time I remember, it's just far too late to do it.
This time, however, things will be different. I will not let Mandy down. Not just because I need to prove I'm not always lazy (only on pizza nights), but because having something shiny with which to show off my awesomeness is always useful. Sadly, there are days when I need to flash my blog bling in the eyes of naysayers, rendering them temporarily blind. Once the pain and awe subside, they always come back for more. Possibly because they've heard rumors that deep down I may have something resembling humility in my soul.
Why are you shaking your head at me? Is there an award for bloggers who show humility? No? Well, then, I see no reason to be modest if I'm not going to get a trophy to show off my humbleness with. You can see the bind I'm in.
But I didn't say I was the only awesome blogger out there, did I? Hell, no. I share the spotlight sometimes, you know. As part of accepting this award, I'm going to list 12 of them. You can go check them out, befriend them, and then talk about how grandiose I am. They'll understand.
If your blog is listed and you decide to accept this award (Why wouldn't you? It's not smothered in herpes or anything), please find 12 more awesome people to give it to. That's how it works. It's like one of those annoying chain letters, but without the threat of death or dismemberment.
12 Blogs That The Maven Likes to Read and Give Awards to and Stuff:
The Single Screenwriter
Chasing Blue Sky
Jobthingy's Jungle
meanoldmommy
WackyMummy
From Nat's Brain
Canadian Bald Guy
Party of 3
XUP
Not just about cancer
Sunshine on My Shoulder
As told by Kat
These are some of my favourite people, and if I could I would read them every day. Unfortunately, this life thingy takes me so far away from the computer lately that I scarcely have time to tell them how amazing they are. The nice thing about giving them some blog award love is that I have an excuse to go read their work and comment on it; Something I haven't done for a long time. I'm betting they'll be weeping with joy.
Oh, they won't admit it, but they will be. Trust me. I have that affect on people. It must be my thick coating of humility. It's like lacquer - you can see right through it.