If you follow me on social media at all, you probably
already know we met this guy.
No, not the Benedict Cumberbatch-ish lookalike on the left –
that’s our handsome our son, Aerik. We’ve met him plenty of times. He eats our
food.
I’m talking about the dashing gentleman on the right; The
leader of our great northern country, land of the strong and free and more
poutine than you can shake a fork at, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
Just look at us, all put together in this photo like it’s no
big thang. You know, just hangin’ with the PM in our fancy people clothes and
whatever.
What you may not know is we had no idea we were going to
meet Mr. Trudeau until about 90 seconds before it happened. With that in mind, can
I just say I’m really proud of myself for not being passed out in a puddle of OMG
at his feet in this picture?
There’s a wonderful story to this meeting that I want to
tell. It’s a story of community coming together and making something unexpectedly
great happen for a family that is still glowing from all that unexpected
greatness. And it’s a story of a government supporting its people – all its people.
But first, let’s talk about the most important thing: The Canadian government has introduced a
new trans rights bill. Yessssss. When
I first heard the news, I burst into happy tears. Mascara = gone. Eyes = red from
crying. I was elated.
I’ve personally been fighting for a bill like this for over
two years, since Alexis first came out to us. I’ve contacted politicians,
engaged with media, and stood on Parliament Hill with other protesters when it
looked like the last bill would stall and die in the senate (and it did.) When
Trudeau was first elected, I even wrote him an open letter, urging him to keep
his promise of supporting the trans community. And yet, if I look at the bigger
picture, my contributions are virtually non-existent compared to the efforts of
trans activists who have been fighting for a lifetime. They deserve serious
recognition for the work they’ve done.
If passed, this bill
will ensure people like my wife and daughter are protected from discrimination when
it comes to big things like employment, housing and hate crimes. This is the country’s
seventh attempt to get a bill like this passed through the appropriate channels
in order to make it law. Seventh. It
has fallen apart each time; proof we’re no strangers to transphobia in Canada,
no matter what some might think.
So what’s different this time? The biggest difference is it’s
the first time such a bill has been introduced by a sitting government, meaning
it stands a good very chance of passing. I’m cautiously booking the confetti cannon
rental.
To celebrate this historic day, various members of the government
invited various members of the trans community and their supporters to the
House of Commons in Ottawa on May 17th – the International Day
Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Gold star for symbolism, you guys.
We were invited as guests of Anita Vanderbeld, the Liberal
Member of Parliament for Ottawa West-Nepean. We don’t live in the area she
represents, but one of our school board’s trustees does. Donna Blackburn
reached out to Anita, who was more than happy to have us to Parliament as her
guests. I think I said something like, “OMGTHATSGREATWHATAMIGOINGTOWEAR” when I
found out we were going.
We got up ridiculously early last Tuesday, a chilly but
sunny spring day, dressed everyone in fancy folk clothes, and made our way to
the Hill. My shoes hurt like a bitch. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world
to deal with my level of tired. I wasn’t sure my hair was going to cooperate
with the new product I bought the day before after finding out my usual product
has been discontinued. It was all very difficult. You can’t even understand.
The bill was introduced and tabled (standard procedure). There was a kick ass press conference to
celebrate. Lots of cheers and tears and all that good stuff.
A few minutes later, as we were sitting in our seats in the House
of Commons, Anita came in and whispered, “Come with me right now. You’re going
to meet the prime minister.”
Confession time: I have a small crush on this man. Just a
little one. Nothing pervy, I promise. I’m not out to break up anyone’s marriage;
I just want him to sit down in front of a roaring fire with me and discuss the
importance of feminism. After we go skating on the Rideau Canal, of course. And
take selfies. And maybe Periscope a bit about how great Canada is. No big deal,
ok?
So I’m pretty sure I literally jumped out of my seat –
completely ladylike, of course – and calmly-not-so-calmly made my way down the hallway
with the rest of my stunned family members, Donna the trustee, and two of our
close friends (another trans kiddo and his mom.) We stood in the hallway at the
top of a staircase for a few seconds before Justin Trudeau – the Justin Trudeau, handsome feminist
leader with great hair – made his way up to meet us IN THE ACTUAL FACE.
He introduced himself to all of us, beginning with the kids,
and even getting down to Jackson’s 9-year-old level to say hello in what I can
only describe as the sweetest thing ever.
He shook my hand and I didn’t melt on the spot, which I think earns me a damn
medal.
And in case you were wondering, he was as kind, as sincere
and as compassionate as my schoolgirl brain had imagined he’d be. There was no air
of arrogance or inequality. I’m sure he was rushed, but he never let on.
We chatted for a few short but meaningful minutes. When I
tried to thank him and his government for the great work they’re doing, he
brushed it off, saying he was happy to do a small part to help a much larger
movement.
And then, with no cameras on him and nothing to prove to
anyone, he thanked us. Us!
He thanked our family for living so openly and bravely, saying
something about how change is made through example. I can’t remember everything that was said on
account of trying to keep from reaching over and hugging him hard around the
nice men with the weapons. But it was heartfelt. I’ll always remember that.
And then he said, “Let’s take a picture!” And we did. You
guys, he had his arm around me for the greatest few seconds of my life and his
suit felt wonderful. Then he asked Zoe to come over and I felt my heart sink a
little but then I got over it and I don’t even hate her, because it was still
awesome.
And then we said our goodbyes, and he was off. I’m sad to
report he did not ride off on a shiny unicorn like I had always speculated he
would, but his exit was still majestic.
A few minutes later, we were pulled out of our seats again
to meet with Justice Minister Jodi Wilson-Raybould, and we were able to thank
her for everything she’s done, too. Another great meeting with another
politician I couldn’t possibly dislike if I tried. Canadian justice should be
proud to have such a strong and dedicated woman at the helm.
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Finally, worn out from all these surprise meetings, gushing
all over people (including many trans advocates we had never met in person before)
and bouncing between several media interviews, we were treated to a delicious
lunch in the Parliamentary Restaurant by our local MP, Karen McCrimmon. I’m so
proud to have given her my vote, because she is everything I had hoped and more.
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| On our best behaviour with our MP, Karen McCrimmon |
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| This might be the last time they invite us to fancy places. |
It was an incredible day on all fronts. But here’s the
underlying message I left with: Our
government supports trans people.
When my kids look at the picture of us with the Prime
Minister – which I framed and put in the living room and maturely resisted putting
heart stickers all over – I hope they see what I see: That our government has our back. That they want to protect our family.
That the leader of our country and his party aren’t shying away from the trans
community like governments past, but embracing them. Engaging with them. Taking
photos with them. Allying themselves with them. It’s beautiful, it’s historic,
and it will remain a major highlight of my work in advocacy.
We still have so much work to do. Laws are crucial, but so
is changing hearts and minds on a broader scale. Society has a long way to go
before it fully accepts the trans community, stops being afraid of them, stops
discriminating against and harming them.
But I have more faith than ever we’ll get there. Hopefully on unicorns.