You guys. Sit down.
Are you sitting? Ok. Here, have a cookie. I have something
so great to tell you.
Microsoft recently asked Alexis and me to be part of the
#My24hrs series, which features six change-makers from across Canada showing
how we use technology each day to create a better world. Being a part of this
is such an honour, and I can’t tell you how much it means to know a company of
this magnitude wanted to share our story.
In my opinion, this. is. huge. It deserves another cookie. Ok,
I’ll go first.
Participating in this project reminds me of the most
commonly asked question I get as a mom/activist: “Why did you decide to be so
public with your family’s story?”
It’s a valid question. People don’t know why we do it, or how
we do it knowing the risks and potential repercussions of being so open. When a
trans child comes out, the whole family does, too. We are put under a
microscope, questioned, judged, belittled, and even sometimes threatened. Who
would want to do that?
I’ve had a lot of time of time to think about why we share
what we do, and the answer can be boiled down to four simple words: to
make change happen.
I spent the first little while after Alexis came out to us
living in absolute fear. Fear people would never understand her. Fear she would
be harmed. Fear she would try to take her own life. And Alexis lived in fear,
too. She worried about being bullied at school, ostracized by her peers, and
never being able to live happily as her true self.
As we quickly learned,
living in fear isn’t really living. It’s cumbersome and all-encompassing.
And unfortunately, our new reality was steeped in it.
Fear was the unmannerly landlord in my brain I would rather
not pay rent to. But he showed up, day after day, to grin menacingly and pile
more concerns at my door. Everything felt overwhelming. “I can’t believe this
is happening,” I would say to those closest to us. “I don’t want this to be
happening.”
In other words, I am
afraid, and I don’t know what to do.
Thankfully, at some point, “I can’t believe this is
happening,” simply became, “This is happening.” Acceptance had bought the
building, and arrived at my door with a fresh coat of paint and a much-needed
boost to my morale.
This is happening.
Because it is.
Happening, I mean. My child is transgender; that is a fact I can’t change.
She needs to be true to herself to live a happy life;
another unchangeable reality.
But unfortunately, the world is not entirely ready to
embrace her for who she is. Have you read a comment section lately? Ignorance
is still very much alive, and hatred feeds on it like a ravenous wolf.
At this point, the choices became crystal clear: We either
quietly live our lives with a trans child in the world as it is - ugliness and
all - or help create the world we want for Alexis. Both decisions have their
own risks and consequences (after all, not
doing something can be even harder than doing something.)
After many family conversations, we chose change.
 |
| Alexis on set at the #My24hrs shoot in Toronto |
This is where tech comes in, and why we felt we were a good
fit for the #My24hrs campaign. When it comes to human rights, technology is a
powerful tool. From Skyping in for an interview to posting news links on
Facebook, from writing an article on LGBT healthcare to tweeting politicians
about important legislation, I use tech every day. I could not do the work I do
without it.
But it goes so much deeper than that. Tech allows people to
get to know our family from their own homes and offices. You get to know Alexis
as a whole person, not just an anonymous statistic.
You get to connect with us, and us with you. We forge a
relationship we likely never would have had otherwise. These relationships open
up minds and hearts and possibilities. They start conversations. They start movements.
They make what seemed impossible yesterday entirely possible today.
And that is how
real change is made.
So why we do we do what we do? Because instead of living in fear, we’re choosing to break down
ignorance and hate, the obstacles that cause fear in the first place.
I highly encourage you to check out the other #My24hrs stories. Seriously, do it. Trust your friend Amanda. She has great hair,
and cookies. Then we can compare who cried the most watching everyone’s videos
(spoiler alert: totally me.) But mostly, by watching them, I hope you’ll feel
as inspired as I do to continue making positive changes in the world.
We all get the same 24 hours. Do great things.
My family was compensated for our participation in this series. Furthermore, a donation was made to the charity of our choice. We chose Kind Space Ottawa, who continue to be a safe haven for the LGBTQ community in our city.