7 Resolutions For 2014. Because I Couldn't Come Up With 2,014 of Them.
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| @Jobthingy and I ringing in the new year. |
Happy 2014, bitches! (Spawnling just came in the room and asked why I just swore on my blog and called everyone the "B-word." Who taught him to read?! I knew putting him in school was a bad idea. And we wonder why this is the kid who told my friend just yesterday that her loud parrots were really pissing him off. Sigh.)
We rang in the New Year at a party hosted by Jobthingy that was 80% gay men, so you know it was a fabulous time. I felt entirely underdressed, but received many compliments on my glitter eye shadow.
One of the things I want to do this year is blog more. 2013 was abysmal for that. It was a year of busy, chaos-y goodness. I'm hoping for a little less upheaval this time around the sun. Of course, you never know when life is going to give you lemons, hold you down and squeeze them into your eyes, but I'm not going to let that stop me from setting some goals.
So, without further ado, here is a list of my 7 big priorities for 2014 (there are seven because that's half of 14 and math is good. Or more likely because I could only come up with 7, but the first one sounds better). I wrote them in a letter to myself to try and make it more personal - because, you know, writing something personal on my personal blog isn't personal enough.
Dear Self,
This year, I would like you to focus on:
BEING AUTHENTIC.
Come on. Let's stop with the games, baby. You're amazing. We both know it. Please stop trying to figure out what everyone else expects of you and just be you, exactly as you are, with your loud laugh and great hair and that weird wince-y little eye thing that happens when you smile. It's cute and possibly a sign of some far-back inbreeding, but that's okay. Just go around being you, being perfectly imperfect, smiling and living big. A life where you don't feel comfortable in your own skin is a life wasted.
WRITING AUTHENTICALLY.
Same thing as above, doll. Know why you're not writing? Know why you keep staring at a blinking cursor on a blank page? Because you're terrified of writing the wrong thing. You're scared people will realize you're actually a shitty writer and stop reading. You're intimidated by big bloggers with abundant page hits and conference gigs and think you can't possibly measure up. Stop that toxic mind train immediately before it derails in the neuron forest and poisons all the little bunnies and unicorns. You do not need to measure up to anyone. You do not need to compare yourself to other people. Besides, you are likely the only person you know who equates their brain to a forest full of bunnies and unicorns. That makes you special. It makes you unique. And really fucking weird. It's a good thing you're in therapy right now.
OH, RIGHT. STOP SELF-DEPRECATING SO MUCH.
I know. You're a comedic writer. It's your job to pull the funny out of the bad stuff. But when people like Julie go all Intervention in the car and tell you that you self-deprecate too much, you should probably listen. Julie is like a ninja master of smartness, and I don't think she yells at people very often. (She put on her mom voice and everything. It was scary.) It's ok to poke fun at yourself and to try to see the lighter side of your issues. But this year you're going to need to build yourself up twice as much as you tear yourself down. Seriously. And if you don't, I'm going to tell Julie.
EMBRACING YOUR INNER ARTIST.
You are not a rocket scientist, computer programmer or chemical engineer. Your little bunnies and unicorns run screaming through Neuron Forest at the mere idea of trigonometry. You need to watch documentaries on black holes with big pictures and simple narration from Morgan Freeman to even begin to understand the concept. And even then you have to keep pausing them and asking your husband for clarification - sometimes in the form of diagrams drawn on napkins. That's ok. Your mom ate McDonald's a lot when she was pregnant with you and it just made your genius happen a little.... differently. (By this logic all my children will be artists because I ATE ALL THE FRIES.) You're an artist, and we are just as needed as any rocket scientist. We help people see the human experience in a new light. We help scientists laugh and think and cry and heal so they can go on curing cancer and shit. You are a biophysicist of the written word. You're an anesthesiologist a brain surgeon of public speaking. You have a welcoming soul - a storyteller's soul - that makes strangers want to tell you their deepest secrets. Those are beautiful skills. Embrace them, don't hate on them.
ENRICHING SOMEONE'S LIFE EVERY DAY.
Because it can't always be about you, Mave. Ok, I know. Deep breath. It's a weird concept to wrap your head around, but you know as well as I do that it makes you feel awesome to make other people feel awesome. Then they, in turn, make someone else feel awesome and you have a fucking axis of awesomeness, created by you. Now if that isn't a narcissist's wet dream, I don't know what is. So hold the door and say good morning to the frazzled-looking mom at the coffee shop, or give that clerk at the grocery store a nice compliment. Not enough that she thinks you're hitting on her because that's creepytown and you might be asked not to shop there anymore. Just make people smile. People need to smile more. You're good at that. It's one of your superpowers (the other is taking great selfies.)
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| This guy has loved me for two whole decades. And doesn't drink every day. I think he might be Superman. |
FOCUSING ON THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU.
I know. Lots of people, right? You can't help being so worthy. But there are those who always go the extra mile for you, and those are the ones you need to give your attention to. But you have this nasty habit of giving a lot of your time and energy to people who don't deserve it. You have exhausted yourself for too long trying to garner the love of people who can't, for whatever reason, love you back with the same intensity. That stops today, you silly bitch. It's time to focus on the right people, and then put on some sunglasses for when they reflect that good shit back into your face. You might want to wear some sunscreen. It's going to be intense. And that love is going to fuel your soul, and in turn fuel your artistry. (But no pressure or anything, guys.)
NOT FEELING LIKE A FRAUD IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
That whole "I'm not supposed to be here" feeling? This isn't Clerks, girl, and you can't be a fraud in your own story. That's impossible. No, in your own story, you are the heroine. You have overcome obstacles, climbed mountains and performed other cliché metaphors to get to where you are today. I'm sure I can come up with more. I'm a writer. Hang on. Oh! You're a phoenix, rising out of the ashes and doing whatever phoenixes do after that. Screeching and flying and things. And sure, maybe you don't know a lot about phoenixes other than they get tattooed on people in prison a fair bit, but I bet they're pretty amazing like 2014 is going be.
It really is going to be amazing. Watch this space, bitches. I'm back.