In Which I Spill Coffee all over my Boss' Birthday Gift

Part of being a mom and a part-time worker bee is that I have to juggle a lot of stuff.  Take last Wednesday, for example: hubby was out of town visiting his grandma in the hospital, and I had to get all three gremlins off to three different schools and myself to work by 9 a.m.

Oh, and I had to buy my boss a birthday gift.

She would argue that I didn't have to, but I had to. I mean, she's my boss. And she's also a dear friend, a mentor and someone who just generally rocks.

No, ladies and gents, this was not optional in my mind. And even though I had scarcely enough time to breathe with all the chaos afoot, making sure the Boss Lady had something nice on her desk that day was top priority. 

Besides, this would all work out. I was doing okay for time. In fact, I was better than okay. I was a whole five minutes ahead of schedule.


Five minutes!


And if you don't think that's impressive then you're obviously childless (and a part of me is somewhat envious, but only a small part - the part that doesn't get quite as much sleep as I'd like). The marathon was almost at an end. It was 8:45 and that meant I had just enough time to pop into Boss Lady's favourite tea establishment just down the street from the office, pick up something she'd hopefully love enough to excuse any slacking off I might do that day, and get my sizeable bottom to work for 9 a.m.

Problem: The tea place didn't open until 9 a.m.

What place that serves caffeine-laced beverages opens at 9?!

Okay, I figured, no problem. BL wasn't going to be in the office right at nine anyway. And, while that's technically my start time, I was fairly confident my tardiness could get excused with "But I had to get you a birthday present." (That and "I had to save some orphans from a fire" are both right up there on the list of reasons why you're boss probably won't mind if you're late for work.)

I waited around the tea store until nine and ran in as soon as the door was unlocked. I carefully picked out something awesome so that every time she gazed upon it she would think "Why, this is awesome, just like my employee."





I had the store clerk gift wrap it in the cutest little turquoise bag with white tissue.  Then I strutted back to my car and drove to the office.

Problem: I had an open coffee.

Okay, so this isn't a huge deal in itself; I often walk around with open coffees. But I don't often walk up a flight of stairs with an open coffee while carrying the following things:

  • My purse
  • My lunch
  • My keys
  • My work bag
  • My cell phone
  • My boss' beautifully-wrapped birthday gift
And I carried all this up the flight of stairs in a new pair of heeled boots. As a former stay-at-home-mom, I'm not terribly accustomed to heels. So, while I was busy humming and fiddling with the office door keys and imagining how much Boss Lady was going to like her new gift, I wasn't paying attention to the fact that I was spilling my coffee all over the damn gift bag, and inside the gift bag, and all over the gifts.

Problem: You can't give your boss a gift with coffee all over it.

You can give your boss a gift, you can give your boss a coffee. Those are two things I know for sure. But I'm fairly confident that you can't give your boss a gift with coffee stains all over it. I think that might be considered a bad idea.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit shit!" was about all that escaped my mouth. Thankfully there are no other employees in our office or I might have lost my Employee of the Month status. How on earth was I going to fix this little problem? I wiped down the gifts, but Boss Lady would be in shortly and I had to make sure I had some kind of wrapping.

Problem: I do not work at a gift store.

The only wrapping paper I could find was sparkly red and had candy canes on it, so I knew I had to employ some serious problem-solving skills.  That's when I noticed the takeout sushi bags.

I hastily grabbed one and stuffed the gifts into it.

Problem: The gift was not sushi.

No worries. I took care of that:


Finally, I hastily scrawled her a note.


And I think she was rather happy with the whole thing, really.

And, most importantly, I lived to see another day with the highly-coveted Favourite Employee status.