Happy Monday!
Scrap that; All three gremlins are home with viruses.
Un-Happy Monday.
Gutsy and Spawnling have colds while Intrepid may have a cold or may also be developing the dreaded swine flu. This morning he had a stomach ache, a sore throat, and a cough. Now that he's eaten virtually everything in the house, I've concluded he's actually mimicking a swine and maybe not the actual swine flu. Almost-teenagers are very good at pigging out.
I love my kids. And every time I say 'I love my kids' it's pretty much a guarantee that I'm going to throw in a 'but' after it. So here it goes: I love my kids, but I really don't like having them all home for days on end.
I know, I know. I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I would like to point out, however, that the title only states that I am a mom and stay home. Nothing in it says there have to be children present. If that were the case, they might have wanted to call it" stay-at-home-with-kids-mom". Personally, I would have called it" stay-at-home-with-kids-and-lose-your-freaking-mind-mom". I admit it's a little long, but far more specific.
The problem today is - for lack of a more delicate way of saying it - the kids are sick, but too healthy to lie quietly. Sure, I worry when they're glassy-eyed on the couch with a box of tissues beside them, but I do get a lot of reading time! Right now they're all sick, but healthy enough to stir a great deal of chaos into the mix. Screaming, fighting, crying and un-sharing are all part of the soup du jour at Casa Maven. It's like summer, but without the ability to kick them outside to wear off the angry energy. (Incidentally, my witty mind tried to combine the words 'angry' and 'energy' into a new and exciting word, but all I could come up with is 'angrygy', which is rather lame.)
The good news - because there is always good news - is that the Artist formally known as My Running Partner will be supplying me with an organic, fair trade latte from Bridgehead. And, no, neither I, nor Daring D, are getting money or free products from the company for giving them props (I wish!). I just really like them and I like what they do. Environmental and community friendly caffeinated beverages? Oh, my. In the coffee world, they are the filling in awesome pie.
I could use a latte today, or pretty much anything that I can stuff into my mouth to eat my feelings (perverts, don't get any ideas and start emailing me...Well, at least send me some headshots first so I can see who I'm talking to... Wait. That made it sound even worse...) *ahem* Let's just pretend this paragraph never happened.
When all the boys are home and interacting - all the parenting books say it's a good idea to replace negative language, like 'fighting', with more positive language, like 'interacting' - I can do one of two things: Either I lose my ever-loving mind, or I try to see the comedy in the situation. Today, I've decided on comedy; it's downright comedic to see children with such varied personalities and age groups "interacting".
Intrepid, the sweet boy that he is, always tries to defuse the situation. Either that, or he sounds exactly like me. I'll overhear him say something really condescending or dismissive to his younger brothers and it really gets under my skin. As I'm stomping into the playroom to have a word with him, I wonder where on earth he picked that up. What poor communication skills! He sounds like a stressed out, overwhelmed... mother.Oops.
Spawnling will vent by using the most offensive word he knows. Don't be stupid; you know what that word is. Yesterday, when he didn't like what I had to tell him, he climbed up on my computer chair and said:Yeah? Well you're stupid. And your desk is stupid. And I'm going on your stupid computer. I'm going to type 'stupid.com' and play a stupid game there. It's going to be a game about getting lost in a stupid forest. And you can be any stupid animal you want, and...
It was nearly impossible to put him on the stairs for a time-out without laughing. I mean, I really tried, but it was hard.
Meanwhile, Gutsy is trying his best to deal with fights without yelling. It's a work in progress. I've realized that, once again, how I react to a negative situation has a lot to do with how he reacts. For example, the minute he walked out looking like this, I had yelled 'Oh my God! Take that off! You're going to kill yourself!!'
Yes, it's a scissor necklace.
He hastily took the it off and stammered off a few reasons why a necklace made of scissors could be useful. Like when you're wrapping a gift. You don't have to ask 'where did I put those darn scissors?'
First, I told him he was incredibly smart and creative and that I love him. Then, I had him put it back on to take a picture. Then, I told him to never, ever put sharp things around his neck again. Then, when he left the room, I laughed my ass off.
I would write more, but they're now interacting again - quite loudly, I might add - in the living room. Where's that latte?!