My dear friend Pixie,
I'm writing in regards to your recent decision to abandon me for a cruise. I realize this was planned before we became good friends and prior to your realization that I'm wickedly cool. However, I think you should have canceled it. Honestly, I don't know what a stupid boat has on me. I mean, I talk more than a boat and I smell better than stinky ocean. You won't spend a week with me and then cry when you get your Visa statement. I don't sway you around until you puke in the corner of a ballroom. Furthermore, I'm both funny and hilarious, which are traits you don't often find together, especially when also using the word 'ship'.
There are other things you should consider: The food you eat at my house is less fattening. You could have hung out here for much less money and not gained 10 pounds in the process. Looking hot and hanging out with The Maven? Is there a better vacation, I ask you? Also, I don't give you skin cancer like your friend Mr. Sun. Oh, and Mr. Sun doesn't write in a blog, does he? (If he does I bet it's quite boring: "Today I shone, just like yesterday... and the day before that.. Output is up 10%! The ice caps are melting...still. And today a boy held up a magnifying glass and burned an ant with my help. That ROX! LOLZZZ!!")
In short, you made a huge mistake. You will miss me and your trip will suck. But that's the bed you made (well, the people there made it for you) and you will have to sleep in it (uninterrupted, several nights in a row). I will, however, be too busy with all the fun things I have to do around here to give you a second thought. I'm going to rake leaves and write out a meal plan for the week. I'm going to go on playdates and hit up playgroup.
Come to think of it, I don't exactly have time to spend with you anyway, so I suppose you picked a good week.
I guess we can still be friends.
Sincerely,
The Maven (Who still has Geekster, The Butler Did it, Jobthingy, Coffee Fairy, Impossible MOM, Lovebucks, Fallout Girl ... and even my parents to talk to this week. Yeah. Mom and Dad! Who's envious now?)
I'm writing in regards to your recent decision to abandon me for a cruise. I realize this was planned before we became good friends and prior to your realization that I'm wickedly cool. However, I think you should have canceled it. Honestly, I don't know what a stupid boat has on me. I mean, I talk more than a boat and I smell better than stinky ocean. You won't spend a week with me and then cry when you get your Visa statement. I don't sway you around until you puke in the corner of a ballroom. Furthermore, I'm both funny and hilarious, which are traits you don't often find together, especially when also using the word 'ship'.
There are other things you should consider: The food you eat at my house is less fattening. You could have hung out here for much less money and not gained 10 pounds in the process. Looking hot and hanging out with The Maven? Is there a better vacation, I ask you? Also, I don't give you skin cancer like your friend Mr. Sun. Oh, and Mr. Sun doesn't write in a blog, does he? (If he does I bet it's quite boring: "Today I shone, just like yesterday... and the day before that.. Output is up 10%! The ice caps are melting...still. And today a boy held up a magnifying glass and burned an ant with my help. That ROX! LOLZZZ!!")
In short, you made a huge mistake. You will miss me and your trip will suck. But that's the bed you made (well, the people there made it for you) and you will have to sleep in it (uninterrupted, several nights in a row). I will, however, be too busy with all the fun things I have to do around here to give you a second thought. I'm going to rake leaves and write out a meal plan for the week. I'm going to go on playdates and hit up playgroup.
Come to think of it, I don't exactly have time to spend with you anyway, so I suppose you picked a good week.
I guess we can still be friends.
Sincerely,
The Maven (Who still has Geekster, The Butler Did it, Jobthingy, Coffee Fairy, Impossible MOM, Lovebucks, Fallout Girl ... and even my parents to talk to this week. Yeah. Mom and Dad! Who's envious now?)