I know there are a lot of people who are terribly upset that I haven't posted in nearly a week. I don't blame you. I would also miss me if I wasn't with me all the time, living my awesome life full of... awesomness.
However, you'll all just have to suck it up and realize the hard reality of the situation:
I am Canadian.
It is now Spring.
I can go outside without a coat.
Do you see where this is going?
We've been living in the backyard for several days. Well, not living there, because we would have to pee in the hedges and subsist on barbecued squirrel. No, we live in the house. But we're outdoors a lot right now and it's completely won over any desire to play World of Warcrack or even *gasp* blog. However, I was going to do pilates tonight and would rather eat chocolate, so blogging was a great excuse to be lazy and unhealthy.
I wonder if I could sue blogger if I become diabetic. Google is American, and Americans can sue anybody for anything. I bet I could sue based on the remote possibility of getting sick due to my addiction to blogging. However, I would have to post more than once a week to prove an addiction. Maybe I'll use that as motivation. A goal, if you will.
Spawnling has really been enjoying the great outdoors. The Wack-wacks (ducks) have come around on several occasions. They're truly suckers for punishment, that's for sure. They visit our ditch and then climb up onto our front yard. As soon as The Spawn sees them, he screams 'WACK WACK WACK!" and rushes at them full tilt. The first two times they waddled back down into the ditch. The last time they flew off in a fit of quacks, leaving Spawnling to cackle in glee at his latest accomplishment.
I, as a mother, have never been prouder.
Also, while I'm sad to say he no longer calls everything 'whore', he does have a new favourite: Sin Dens. That's right. Spawnling has a Sin Den. Two actually. They go on his feet with Velcro straps and have Lightning McQueen on the side.
I like to call them his orgy shoes. What else would a "Sin Den" be but a den of, well, sin? It almost makes me want to run out and by myself a pair. Almost, but not really. I barely have time for non-sinning marital relations right now let alone an entire den of dirty deeds. It sounds like too much work. Maybe I'll buy myself some stupid Crocs. I wonder what Spawnling would call those?
*giggle*
A very happy birthday to the sweet little Chicka who turned 1 on Saturday. Her mama Sky Girl had us over for the party. I only brought Spawnling because he's my favourite. (Actually the other two didn't want to come, but that was a more shocking answer. I'm all about shock value with my suburban living and minivan ways. With a rebel yell and all that.) We had a great time after the first half hour when Spawnling was crying and clinging to me and wanting to nurse and sticking his hand down my top to twiddle my nipple. Thanks, little buddy. Nothing breaks the ice more than having my boob touched while I meet people.
He also made a point of hitting the birthday girl over the head when he confiscated her new ride-on toy and she tried to take it back. He even backed it away from her while it was still in the box. That, my friends, is the essence of toddlerhood. He was just trying to show her mom what she's in for this year. Oh, the fun!
Anyway, I should head off to bed. Or maybe I'll eat more chocolate first while wearing my Sin Dens. Gluttony is a sin, right? I guess that's why I'm not Catholic. I would hate to sin every single day.
However, you'll all just have to suck it up and realize the hard reality of the situation:
I am Canadian.
It is now Spring.
I can go outside without a coat.
Do you see where this is going?
We've been living in the backyard for several days. Well, not living there, because we would have to pee in the hedges and subsist on barbecued squirrel. No, we live in the house. But we're outdoors a lot right now and it's completely won over any desire to play World of Warcrack or even *gasp* blog. However, I was going to do pilates tonight and would rather eat chocolate, so blogging was a great excuse to be lazy and unhealthy.
I wonder if I could sue blogger if I become diabetic. Google is American, and Americans can sue anybody for anything. I bet I could sue based on the remote possibility of getting sick due to my addiction to blogging. However, I would have to post more than once a week to prove an addiction. Maybe I'll use that as motivation. A goal, if you will.
Spawnling has really been enjoying the great outdoors. The Wack-wacks (ducks) have come around on several occasions. They're truly suckers for punishment, that's for sure. They visit our ditch and then climb up onto our front yard. As soon as The Spawn sees them, he screams 'WACK WACK WACK!" and rushes at them full tilt. The first two times they waddled back down into the ditch. The last time they flew off in a fit of quacks, leaving Spawnling to cackle in glee at his latest accomplishment.
I, as a mother, have never been prouder.
Also, while I'm sad to say he no longer calls everything 'whore', he does have a new favourite: Sin Dens. That's right. Spawnling has a Sin Den. Two actually. They go on his feet with Velcro straps and have Lightning McQueen on the side.
I like to call them his orgy shoes. What else would a "Sin Den" be but a den of, well, sin? It almost makes me want to run out and by myself a pair. Almost, but not really. I barely have time for non-sinning marital relations right now let alone an entire den of dirty deeds. It sounds like too much work. Maybe I'll buy myself some stupid Crocs. I wonder what Spawnling would call those?
*giggle*
A very happy birthday to the sweet little Chicka who turned 1 on Saturday. Her mama Sky Girl had us over for the party. I only brought Spawnling because he's my favourite. (Actually the other two didn't want to come, but that was a more shocking answer. I'm all about shock value with my suburban living and minivan ways. With a rebel yell and all that.) We had a great time after the first half hour when Spawnling was crying and clinging to me and wanting to nurse and sticking his hand down my top to twiddle my nipple. Thanks, little buddy. Nothing breaks the ice more than having my boob touched while I meet people.
He also made a point of hitting the birthday girl over the head when he confiscated her new ride-on toy and she tried to take it back. He even backed it away from her while it was still in the box. That, my friends, is the essence of toddlerhood. He was just trying to show her mom what she's in for this year. Oh, the fun!
Anyway, I should head off to bed. Or maybe I'll eat more chocolate first while wearing my Sin Dens. Gluttony is a sin, right? I guess that's why I'm not Catholic. I would hate to sin every single day.