So I have this little...problem.
You know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? People who think they know everything. They make me want to pick their eyes out with a plastic fork. Nothing makes me run in the opposite direction more than a know-it-all. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!
And, uh... There's a reason for that.
Recently a friend of mine put an offer on a house and it was accepted. The offer is conditional on them selling their house. The greatest part is that the new home is in my neighbourhood and it's one that my mom found while looking online. She knew they were looking around here, so she told me and I told my friend.
My neighbourhood, my mom, my friend. I have a personal investment in this purchase, obviously.
I am a self-professed real-estate lover. I watch all the shows, I surf local realtor websites to snoop current listings. I read any article about interest rates and home equity. I'll talk market values until I'm blue in the face. It's probably an addiction at this point. Realty Anonymous, anyone?
So given how special this friend is to me and how excited I am for her, I have become her personal expert. I sold a home last year, you know. With a house full of children just like her. And it sold in a week. Why? Because I made sure it would be perfect. Geekster did some flooring and repairs. I did de-cluttering, cleaning and staging. By the time the realtor walked in ready to hand me a list of things to get done before it went on the market, it was impeccable. "The nicest one in its price range," was the feedback we received. It sold in a week and for a good price.
Of course, this means I know what I'm doing. I'm willing to share my wisdom with those less knowledgeable, though. I'm nice like that. I will spout my sage advice whenever its needed, helping my friend to achieve that "Wow factor" so many buyers are looking for. And certainly my friend and her husband welcome my advice, as I have a real estate license and many years of home selling experience behind me.
... Oh, wait. I don't.
For the last week I've been overloading my poor friend with things I've learned from... What? From selling one home and watching television? Great. I'm not exactly rolling in expertise, am I? She hasn't even asked me for advice, either. I've been throwing it at her, changing the subject to suit whatever I think she should learn next. I'm sure she's rolled her eyes when we're on the phone more than once, and possibly even complained about me to others. I can't say I'd blame her.
On the surface I'm just trying to help. I genuinely love to help others. I'm excited for her and her family, and I'm excited for me and mine. To have someone as wonderful as her in my neighbourhood would be stellar. But if I keep acting like this I have a feeling we might not spend as much time together as I'm imagining.
Under the surface, I'm insecure (Surprise!) I'm an uneducated, fat girl who barely manages to parent her three children. I feel "less than". I feel unimportant. I feel beneath you. So when a topic comes up that I understand fairly well, I pounce on that with fervor. It's my chance to scramble to the top of the pile. To feel like the alpha dog for just a few minutes, instead of the lowly bitch.
(I really do a great lowly bitch, though. Or at least just a bitch.)
I realized my mistake yesterday when I was imparting some more of my vast experience on her. And instantly, I shut up. Just like that. I shut up and accepted that I'm not the wisest of the wise. I'm The Maven. I'm kind of awesome, but not a realtor. That's cool. And really, until I can get my son to stop calling me a big stupid jerk, I had better stop pretending I have it all together. I am only an expert at not knowing what the hell I'm doing.
They say if you don't like something about someone else, look in the mirror. Chances are it's something you don't like in yourself.
Damn "they" and their stupid rightness. I hate that. Bunch of know-it-alls. Where's my plastic fork?
You know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? People who think they know everything. They make me want to pick their eyes out with a plastic fork. Nothing makes me run in the opposite direction more than a know-it-all. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!
And, uh... There's a reason for that.
Recently a friend of mine put an offer on a house and it was accepted. The offer is conditional on them selling their house. The greatest part is that the new home is in my neighbourhood and it's one that my mom found while looking online. She knew they were looking around here, so she told me and I told my friend.
My neighbourhood, my mom, my friend. I have a personal investment in this purchase, obviously.
I am a self-professed real-estate lover. I watch all the shows, I surf local realtor websites to snoop current listings. I read any article about interest rates and home equity. I'll talk market values until I'm blue in the face. It's probably an addiction at this point. Realty Anonymous, anyone?
So given how special this friend is to me and how excited I am for her, I have become her personal expert. I sold a home last year, you know. With a house full of children just like her. And it sold in a week. Why? Because I made sure it would be perfect. Geekster did some flooring and repairs. I did de-cluttering, cleaning and staging. By the time the realtor walked in ready to hand me a list of things to get done before it went on the market, it was impeccable. "The nicest one in its price range," was the feedback we received. It sold in a week and for a good price.
Of course, this means I know what I'm doing. I'm willing to share my wisdom with those less knowledgeable, though. I'm nice like that. I will spout my sage advice whenever its needed, helping my friend to achieve that "Wow factor" so many buyers are looking for. And certainly my friend and her husband welcome my advice, as I have a real estate license and many years of home selling experience behind me.
... Oh, wait. I don't.
For the last week I've been overloading my poor friend with things I've learned from... What? From selling one home and watching television? Great. I'm not exactly rolling in expertise, am I? She hasn't even asked me for advice, either. I've been throwing it at her, changing the subject to suit whatever I think she should learn next. I'm sure she's rolled her eyes when we're on the phone more than once, and possibly even complained about me to others. I can't say I'd blame her.
On the surface I'm just trying to help. I genuinely love to help others. I'm excited for her and her family, and I'm excited for me and mine. To have someone as wonderful as her in my neighbourhood would be stellar. But if I keep acting like this I have a feeling we might not spend as much time together as I'm imagining.
Under the surface, I'm insecure (Surprise!) I'm an uneducated, fat girl who barely manages to parent her three children. I feel "less than". I feel unimportant. I feel beneath you. So when a topic comes up that I understand fairly well, I pounce on that with fervor. It's my chance to scramble to the top of the pile. To feel like the alpha dog for just a few minutes, instead of the lowly bitch.
(I really do a great lowly bitch, though. Or at least just a bitch.)
I realized my mistake yesterday when I was imparting some more of my vast experience on her. And instantly, I shut up. Just like that. I shut up and accepted that I'm not the wisest of the wise. I'm The Maven. I'm kind of awesome, but not a realtor. That's cool. And really, until I can get my son to stop calling me a big stupid jerk, I had better stop pretending I have it all together. I am only an expert at not knowing what the hell I'm doing.
They say if you don't like something about someone else, look in the mirror. Chances are it's something you don't like in yourself.
Damn "they" and their stupid rightness. I hate that. Bunch of know-it-alls. Where's my plastic fork?