Where's my damn trophy?

It's after 10PM SMT (Standard Maven Time. Duh.) and the kids have all been fast asleep for two hours. They got their baths, a nutritious snack, some warm milk and their favourite bedtime stories. We followed the exact same schedule we always do, give or take five minutes. I have that strong of a commitment to my children. It breeds security, you know.

...

....

Right.

Let's take it back to reality for a minute, shall we?

It's just after 10PM. I got home at 9:30 from an AA meeting. The kids were in their pajamas thanks to my husband, who was learning AC/DC songs on his electric guitar. Spawnling was throwing a football repeatedly and shouting 'Boom!' as it hit the floor. Gutsy and Intrepid had made 'ninja training dummies' with some of their clothing and pillows and stood them up with both my mops (yes, I have two. No, they are not used regularly). They were fighting them and making loud sounds no self-respecting ninja would be caught making.

Geekster left to meet a friend for coffee as I got home. The bedtime torch was passed to me. This is when I would have loved to do all the things I mentioned above in Imaginary Village.

Instead I ordered tooth brushing and couch lounging and put The Simpsons Movie on. I am not proud to say that at almost 10:30PM, only 1/3 of the Torrential Trio is asleep.

I'm still waiting for them to give me my Mother of the Year trophy, but I guess the mail's been slow what with Christmas and all.

Frankly, I don't have it in me tonight to fight with bedtime. It's Friday. We have no plans tomorrow. Everyone can sleep in, right?

I spent part of this evening letting go off an old friend. Bad Choice Girl used to be my best friend. It's so strange to think about that now. She's taken a turn in life that I just don't understand. I kept waiting for her to smarten up and be herself again. Apparently who I knew wasn't who she really is, because it's been over two years and she's still making life decisions I can't respect or condone. And this is me. The Maven. The one in a 12 step program that thrives on acceptance of others. Live and Let Live, the program says. I try. I'm not always successful but I try. I guess that's what I'm doing though. I'm living and I'm letting her live. We're not not living in the same social circle anymore. We haven't in years, but now it's official.

It was like writing a breakup letter. It was awful. I was nervous and sad and wishing it didn't have to come to this; that I didn't have to finally accept that she's never coming back. But I need to weed out the anxiety-producing situations in my life that I have control over. This fits neatly in that category because I don't have to be her friend and I don't have to watch her self-destruct. And thankfully I can still see her beautiful children and lend support to their dad, because he doesn't have a choice in dealing with that situation like I do.

Stupid drama. I hate drama. It really sucks. I avoid it like the plague, you know. It used to be kind of interesting and even secretly fun, but now it just blows sleazy goats and fills my limited brain power to the max with things other than what I should be focusing on, like my kids.

Speaking of my kids, we nearly have 2/3 of them asleep now. Mother of the year I am not, but I did do one thing right today: I let go of an unhealthy situation that was causing resentment and taking the focus off of what really matters in my life. My tired, going-to-be-a-menace-tomorrow-and-it's-all-my-fault gremlins.

I think I might need to 'run some errands' tomorrow. Yeah. Without the kids.

So I don't get a trophy for parenting or friendship, but I should get one for being real and honest. Well, if you ignore the first paragraph of this post, anyway. Pipe dreams don't count.