Like this picture? That's from yesterday. I sizzle, I know. That's why my children are so gorgeous. Has nothing to do with their dad. He just provides the nose shape.
So, I should be blogging right now.
Oh, wait. I am blogging. Right. Yeah.
My brain is so fried.
Three things have attributed to my sizzled grey matter:
1. The sister took the two older gremlins for the day so Geekster and I could have 'us' time.
Not dirty 'us' time, in case you eagerly jumped to that conclusion. First of all, making babies is not something I want to be doing right now, thanks. Secondly, we still had the spawnling, as he needs to suck the life energy out of my body about every two hours by way of the breast. I really should call him Calorie Burner, but I doubt that's quite as funny (or truly exciting) to other people. Besides, Spawnling has been Spawling for months now. It would throw him off to change his name now.
He reads this too, you know.
Anyway, this was the first time in these five months that Geekster and I have been able to semi-date sans the trio of netherworld creatures. Great fun! Threw my overwhelmed groove off, though.
2. Obviously, the fates needed to show us that we had no right to spend time together, bonding and talking and eating in a grown-up restaurant, and actually being able to stop and read the little words next to museum artifacts, and shopping without saying any of the following:
'No guys. Get down from there!'
'Watch where you're going because you almost slammed into a wheelchair. Again.'
'Oh my god! Where did you go?! Gutsy? GUTSY!! He's gone. Where is he? WHERE IS...! Oh thank goodne....Gutsy! I thought you were gone. How many times have I told you not to hide in clothing racks?!'
And other number 1 hits spewed forth from between clenched teeth.
The fates concluded the evening we envisioned of two tuckered-out children snuggled up on the couch watching a movie and a contented baby nestled in our arms followed by an early bedtime for all three should be turned upside down. We had to pay for our enjoyment today. Who did we think we were, actually talking about things and only having one child to look after? (And incidentally, I forgot how easy it is to only have one. Oh my goodness, it's easy! No offense to overwhelmed people with only one child... Well ok. Take offense, actually, because it's true. We had Intrepid as an only for almost six years and, while he was a raging demon most days, it was still far less work than juggling three raging demons. So be mad. Go ahead. Be mad at me. I can take it. Team 1 rules! Rah rah rah!)
*ahem*
So yeah, one way we paid for our us-time was needing two hours to watch a 40 minute episode of Grey's Anatomy. It went something like this:
Watch. Intrepid comes up from the playroom to ask us something. Pause.
Intrepid goes downstairs. Watch three minutes.
Gutsy and Intrepid start fighting. Pause.
Geekster settles argument. Un-pause.
Baby gets fussy 30 seconds later and we can't hear. Pause. Nurse baby. Un-pause.
Watch 4 minutes. Baby passes out because he's moody and tired from our big day + his vaccines yesterday + the fact that he had his tongue-tie snipped by the ENT specialist on Thursday and is probably still a bit sore.
Gremz begin their otherworldly yowling, claws come out, battle commences downstairs. Baby wakes up while listening to battle and begins to participate in yowling. Parents sigh heavily. Pause.
Gremz settle down. Decide to come upstairs and sit quietly on couch with now awake but mostly settled baby. They can come up if they're quiet and watch the show, parents say. No talking. No fighting. No breathing.
Well, ok. Breathing is ok. That's it. DON'T MAKE NOISE. Un-pause.
90 seconds in, Gutsy wants water. Gets up, goes to kitchen. Chair scrapes floor. Cupboards slam. Meredith says something now incomprehensible to the human ear. Can't find stupid caption button. Gutsy bangs ice tray on counter to loosen ice for his water. Baby gets scared, starts crying. Bloody pause.
And this goes on. And on. And on, and on, and on, and...
Smart people would have stopped watching Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy and admitted defeat. Geekster and The Maven are stubborn people who do anything they set their minds to.
Very good attitude to take in general.
Very bad attitude to take this evening.
We got through it. We rock. We're exhausted. We're very stupid.
3. Facebook rules my life right now. You can blame her, among others. She's the only one with a blog I can point to, though. And now I know why she doesn't update it much: Facebook owns her ass, too.
Oh, and I got her hooked. And her. Oh, and her. And Geekster. And my brother. I'm a Facebook pusher. I think they should be paying me.
So I should be blogging. And I'm blogging. See? I did something I set my mind to. Now I just have to set my mind to it more often. But right now I'm still twitching from the Grey's Anatomy experience and my mind is too wired to sleep.
Someone pass the chloroform, please.