Look! It's Alfalfa!
Check out the hair. Memories of Cameron Diaz asking 'Is that hair gel?'
Yesterday was Spawnling's four month doctor's appointment. It's difficult to believe that 4 1/2 months ago I had been contracting for six weeks, was three days over my due date and might have jumped off a bridge if not for the fact that my belly would have made an excellent flotation device.
And now he's here and four months old. Or six months, if you had asked the doctor. She said by all accounts he's a good two or so months ahead, from his level of alertness to his incredible strength.
Duh. I grew him. Do it well or don't do it at all. He's perfection incarnate. A flawless little being that was sculpted with impossible precision within my womb.
Well, except for that eye thing.
What eye thing? Just the one where one pupil dilates at a different rate than the other. If it were more obvious he'd make a great P.T. Barnum attraction. They could call him Bam Bam the Pupil Man or something. Give him a club, dress him in the latest Neanderthal infant fashions and charge 10 cents at the door.
Apparently the condition is known as anisocoria and up to a fifth of the world's population has it for one reason or another. It's just a fancy word for uneven pupils. Spawnling's left pupil seems to have a mind of its own and likes to grow and shrink subtly. So subtly, in fact, that I never noticed it. I feel like one of those mothers who is so in love with her new baby that she doesn't see the flippers for hands. It took both Geekster (a few weeks ago) and the doctor to spot it. Geekster noticed while he was taking CPR training and immediately asked if the Spawn had hit his head that day, as uneven pupils can signal brain damage. When he looked again they were the same size, so he brushed it off as a trick of the light.
Stupid Geekster, thought I, getting all worked up over nothing. Well, didn't I feel a bit sheepish when I had to tell him he was *cough*... er... this is so hard to admit... right.
He's actually right a good deal of the time, but don't tell him. The Maven wears the pants around here.
Or at least the bigger pants. And I could sit on him if I wanted to get my way.
The appointment went well other than the weird, harmless eye thing. Spawnling weighs in at a modest 16.5lbs and 65cm in length (which is pretty average). Definitely the runt of the litter, but definitely loving those solids. In his haste to eat, he often does a number on my hand, with his demon claws. I have a video of it that I took today, but Youtube is borken and won't let me upload it. Jerks.
In other news, my good friend Spitting Camel and his wife had a beautiful baby boy a few days ago! Here's a picture of baby Ahmed. SC has been a friend for years, but moved to Europe a while back. I could hate him for leaving us back here in frigid Canada, but instead I laugh that he now has to deal with drivers worse than him. Congratulations on fatherhood, you Parisian snob.
Also, I moved Fly to 'people I know' because she was brave enough to meet Jobthingy and I a couple of weeks ago for dinner and coffee. When I first began stalking her blog I had no idea she was a local girl. It took Jobthingy, AKA my personal organizer, to figure it out. She is one cool bird, that Fly. Or one cool insect, I guess. She's expecting a baby whom she has nicknamed Smudge. Personally, I would have called her Maggot, but that's due to my linear thought patterns. It may lack a certain endearing quality anyway. Unless you like maggots.
And then you're gross and and I don't care what you consider endearing anyway.
And finally, a big shout out to a fellow MDC mama named analisa-roche. The poor girl is so bored that she read a kadozenillion(tm) of my old entries, and commented, too! She has four kids though, including a set of twins, so I suspect they've driven her to the brink of fried-egg-for-brains anyway.
This is your brain. This is your brain on Stay-at-home-mayhem. Any questions?
Thanks for all the comments. They give me more reason to waste my life at the computer, eating M&Ms and getting fatter by the minute.
Finally, I just wanted to carify that the creepy, anonymous comment on my last post with pictures of my children, stating:
Sorry girls...they're all mine.
is, in fact, my mother and not an internet pervert. Good job signing into Blogger, The Madre! I'm going to die of laughter. I definitely got my brain from the maternal side.