Yeah yeah. I know it's been a while. Look, I have three children. It's no picnic. No walk in the park. No boat on calm waters. Especially since the youngest begins shrieking every time I go near a computer.
I suppose the four months of neglect he's suffered while sitting on my lap in front of the screen was enough to clue him into what to expect just about every time mommy checks her email. And now he likes to pound the keyboard as I'm typing, which has helped me learn more Windows XP shortcuts than most people with Microsoft certifications. This furthers my belief that the giant software company either employs very young children or apes to code for them. It also strenghtens my decision not to upgrade to Vista anytime soon.
So ages ago, before the baby competitionwith Kate's Boston (Spawnling rules, of course), before the nerve-fraying drive to see the in-laws this weekend and the subsequent stress-inducing drive home, and before the barrage of appointments I'm currently between, I was tagged by Lushgurl.
Now, about tagging: Like everything I'm supposed to do within a specific timeframe, I suck at it. Between the chaos that is my life right now and my awe-inspiring level of procrastination, I am the last person who will come through for anyone when tagged. Still, a begrudging promise is a begrudging promise. And The Maven tries hard not to let people down (the thought of Lushgurl crying herself to sleep night because she feels I rejected her tag is just not something I can live with).
So, without further ado, let me introduce the tag that is my life:
A=Available? I'm available for coffee. Does that count?
B=Best Friend? Chocolate.
C= Cake or pie? She's my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise.
D= Drink of choice? If you don't know the answer to this then you don't read my blog nearly enough (lucky you)
E= Essential item you use everyday? The toilet. Duh.
F= Favorite color? I like anything brown. Except feces. Those would look better if they were a nice magenta or something.
G= gummie bears or worms? Worms have a lot more protein and less sugar.
H= Hometown? Poutineville, Quebec. I live right next door to Club Supersexe.
I= Indulgences? Coffee. Chocolate. Hot pool boys handing me coffee and chocolate. It's all about the poolboys. They're attracted to pools, though. So apparently I have to get one of those first.
J= January or February? In January I'm still in denial that it's winter. February makes me want to put my head in the oven and drift off to warm death.
K=Kids and Names? Intrepid, Gutsy and Spawnling. And if those were their real names I might not have many people speaking to me, including them. Speaking of which, I once read about a guy who named two of his boys Winner and Loser. Apparently Winner ended up in jail for most of his life while Loser wound up being a high ranking police officer.
L= Life is incomplete without...? The Maven. Way too simple.
M= Marriage date? August 16th, 1997. And surprisingly he's still married to me. He has a very high tolerance level. Either that or he hasn't taken enough life insurance out on me yet (I'm betting on the latter).
N=Number of siblings? 27 by 8 different fathers. My mother used to pop them out like a pez dispenser. You know that Madre - she's a flirty one! Ok, ok... I have four. 3 brothers and a sister. Please don't beat me again, mommy.
O= Oranges or apples? Apples. Oranges are far too much work. And besides, I've learned from experience that babies don't like orange peel juice sprayed in their eyes. Makes for an unpleasant few minutes for all involved.
P= Phobias or Fears? I have a fear that I'm too pretty and it makes other girls cry.
Q= Favorite Quote? I am where I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. Hence, I'm sitting in filth today because I chose to go on a playdate and drink coffee instead of clean. And I'm rushing through a blog entry because I chose to watch HGTV instead of posting yesterday. See how useful that quote is? It's always important to know why things suck.
R= Reason to smile? My baby is napping for longer than an hour and it's not because we're in the van. I have two hands all to myself. Two hands! TWO! It's like Christmas all over again.
S= Season? It's obviously winter. Just look outside. Who comes up with these things?
T= Tag 3 or 4 people? I absolutely refuse to do this to another human being. In fact, I'll wait and tag anyone who pisses me off. That shouldn't take too long.
U= Unknown fact about me? I was hit by a car at thirteen because I chased my gerbil across the highway.
V= Vegetable you don’t like? Onions. It's that small annoyance of my throat sealing up, potentially causing my untimely death. You won't find a bag of onions anywhere near my kitchen (and if I do, I'll know that Geekster finally took out a good policy on me).
W= Worst habit? Procrastination. Note how I was tagged to do this days and days ago. I tell people it's because I like to keep them in suspense. It adds to my mysterious character.
X= X-rays? See 'U'. Many, many x-rays later, I walked away with an arm broken in two places, a fractured hip and two broken front teeth. I've also had over $10,000 in reconstructive dental work done, mostly as a result of my makeout session with the Toyota Camry. But I gots a purdy mawth. *whips out the banjo*
Y= Your favorite food? I feel like I'm repeating myself here: Anything to do with chocolate or coffee or pool boys. I'm easy to buy Valentines gifts for. Can you buy pool boys?
Z= Zodiac Sign? I'm a beautiful, thoughtful, innocent virgo. You can't prove otherwise.
Phew.
There. Happy, Lushgurl? I bet you are. And now you dont' have to cry anymore. Aren't I a wonderful friend?
In fact, I think I'm wonderful enough to make German cream cookies for.
You can't blame a girl for trying.
More tomorrow! Must update about the weekend. I just had to meet my commitments first. I'm a commitment sort of gal.
I suppose the four months of neglect he's suffered while sitting on my lap in front of the screen was enough to clue him into what to expect just about every time mommy checks her email. And now he likes to pound the keyboard as I'm typing, which has helped me learn more Windows XP shortcuts than most people with Microsoft certifications. This furthers my belief that the giant software company either employs very young children or apes to code for them. It also strenghtens my decision not to upgrade to Vista anytime soon.
So ages ago, before the baby competitionwith Kate's Boston (Spawnling rules, of course), before the nerve-fraying drive to see the in-laws this weekend and the subsequent stress-inducing drive home, and before the barrage of appointments I'm currently between, I was tagged by Lushgurl.
Now, about tagging: Like everything I'm supposed to do within a specific timeframe, I suck at it. Between the chaos that is my life right now and my awe-inspiring level of procrastination, I am the last person who will come through for anyone when tagged. Still, a begrudging promise is a begrudging promise. And The Maven tries hard not to let people down (the thought of Lushgurl crying herself to sleep night because she feels I rejected her tag is just not something I can live with).
So, without further ado, let me introduce the tag that is my life:
A=Available? I'm available for coffee. Does that count?
B=Best Friend? Chocolate.
C= Cake or pie? She's my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise.
D= Drink of choice? If you don't know the answer to this then you don't read my blog nearly enough (lucky you)
E= Essential item you use everyday? The toilet. Duh.
F= Favorite color? I like anything brown. Except feces. Those would look better if they were a nice magenta or something.
G= gummie bears or worms? Worms have a lot more protein and less sugar.
H= Hometown? Poutineville, Quebec. I live right next door to Club Supersexe.
I= Indulgences? Coffee. Chocolate. Hot pool boys handing me coffee and chocolate. It's all about the poolboys. They're attracted to pools, though. So apparently I have to get one of those first.
J= January or February? In January I'm still in denial that it's winter. February makes me want to put my head in the oven and drift off to warm death.
K=Kids and Names? Intrepid, Gutsy and Spawnling. And if those were their real names I might not have many people speaking to me, including them. Speaking of which, I once read about a guy who named two of his boys Winner and Loser. Apparently Winner ended up in jail for most of his life while Loser wound up being a high ranking police officer.
L= Life is incomplete without...? The Maven. Way too simple.
M= Marriage date? August 16th, 1997. And surprisingly he's still married to me. He has a very high tolerance level. Either that or he hasn't taken enough life insurance out on me yet (I'm betting on the latter).
N=Number of siblings? 27 by 8 different fathers. My mother used to pop them out like a pez dispenser. You know that Madre - she's a flirty one! Ok, ok... I have four. 3 brothers and a sister. Please don't beat me again, mommy.
O= Oranges or apples? Apples. Oranges are far too much work. And besides, I've learned from experience that babies don't like orange peel juice sprayed in their eyes. Makes for an unpleasant few minutes for all involved.
P= Phobias or Fears? I have a fear that I'm too pretty and it makes other girls cry.
Q= Favorite Quote? I am where I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. Hence, I'm sitting in filth today because I chose to go on a playdate and drink coffee instead of clean. And I'm rushing through a blog entry because I chose to watch HGTV instead of posting yesterday. See how useful that quote is? It's always important to know why things suck.
R= Reason to smile? My baby is napping for longer than an hour and it's not because we're in the van. I have two hands all to myself. Two hands! TWO! It's like Christmas all over again.
S= Season? It's obviously winter. Just look outside. Who comes up with these things?
T= Tag 3 or 4 people? I absolutely refuse to do this to another human being. In fact, I'll wait and tag anyone who pisses me off. That shouldn't take too long.
U= Unknown fact about me? I was hit by a car at thirteen because I chased my gerbil across the highway.
V= Vegetable you don’t like? Onions. It's that small annoyance of my throat sealing up, potentially causing my untimely death. You won't find a bag of onions anywhere near my kitchen (and if I do, I'll know that Geekster finally took out a good policy on me).
W= Worst habit? Procrastination. Note how I was tagged to do this days and days ago. I tell people it's because I like to keep them in suspense. It adds to my mysterious character.
X= X-rays? See 'U'. Many, many x-rays later, I walked away with an arm broken in two places, a fractured hip and two broken front teeth. I've also had over $10,000 in reconstructive dental work done, mostly as a result of my makeout session with the Toyota Camry. But I gots a purdy mawth. *whips out the banjo*
Y= Your favorite food? I feel like I'm repeating myself here: Anything to do with chocolate or coffee or pool boys. I'm easy to buy Valentines gifts for. Can you buy pool boys?
Z= Zodiac Sign? I'm a beautiful, thoughtful, innocent virgo. You can't prove otherwise.
Phew.
There. Happy, Lushgurl? I bet you are. And now you dont' have to cry anymore. Aren't I a wonderful friend?
In fact, I think I'm wonderful enough to make German cream cookies for.
You can't blame a girl for trying.
More tomorrow! Must update about the weekend. I just had to meet my commitments first. I'm a commitment sort of gal.