Oh Maven. Your life is so exciting.
Nothing says 'social life' like fiddling with your blog's template on a Saturday night. The party's all up in here, ya'll!
I had options tonight. I was going to go out with Muhlissa but her babysitting fell through, so we're rescheduling. I could have gone to an AA meeting but I lost track of time because I was playing board games with Geekster and the gremz. I could have gone to get a latte but that involves getting dressed in real clothing and running out before eleven... That is, if it closes at eleven. It might be ten. I'm not sure because I'm not usually out that late.
I am so cool it makes people cry.
I did other things today, too. I dyed my hair. It's hip. It's fashionable. It's hot. It's brown. Like before, but with no grey roots. I stink now and the baby makes funny faces when I hold him.
I watched the second Lord of the Rings. That was after the first Lord of the Rings, which I watched yesterday. I may watch the second installment of Clerks, which makes fun of people like me who watch Lord of the Rings.
I posted on two message boards throughout the day. I did that while waiting for laundry to dry so I could fold it and put it away. I posted about stuff that's so mundane it would make your eyes water to read it. Only people more dull than I am could get any joy out of what I had to say.
I had coffee with my husband and discussed a lot of nothing in the livingroom. It was good coffee. And frankly, if you can talk about nothing with your husband and not have it bore you to the point of wanting to stab yourself in the temple with a letter opener, that's the sign of a good marriage.
So, I guess you could say I worked on my marriage today. Or took its pulse, which was a healthy 75. Or um... had coffee with my husband and tried to make it out to be something more important than that later on.
I read a hilarious story on Steve Novak's site that my mother is NOT allowed to read. It's about sperm and her eyes will burn out of her skull if she does, so I pray that she heeds my warning (note how I said 'heed', which is so Lord of the Rings. Just shoot me now.)
I added some new self-absorbed exhibitionists to my links. I also divided it in two: people I know and people I don't know. You might think that my goal is to have everyone want to get to know me so they can make the first list. This is true. I am not-so-discreetely saying that I am worth knowing and it would be an honour to be listed there.
Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the goal of a lot of people on List 1 might be to get themselves put on List 2. Do you really want the world to know that you've had some kind of relationship with me, even if it's only online? If your coolness factor is zero then maybe. Otherwise, it's a one-way ticket to Loserville. I'm a stay-at-home-mom who speaks endlessly of AA meetings and makes up songs about coffee. I call my children 'gremlins' and add subtitles to videos of my baby. I laugh at stories about sperm going through the mail.
Good news for The Maven is that she is the only one who can access said lists. So like it or not, you are where you are. You can thank me (or beat me) by appointment only. Appointments involve buying me coffee. If you're there to beat me I also get a brownie.
Also, I have a shiny new email address. Feel free to alleviate my boredom any time: mavenmayhem at gmail dot com. You can figure out how to connect the dots and make it a proper address, I'm sure.
Please alleviate my boredom. Otherwise I might have to pay attention to my prose course or, heaven forbid, the kids. Then people might expect me to do productive things and... well, you can see what a slippery slope that is.
Nothing says 'social life' like fiddling with your blog's template on a Saturday night. The party's all up in here, ya'll!
I had options tonight. I was going to go out with Muhlissa but her babysitting fell through, so we're rescheduling. I could have gone to an AA meeting but I lost track of time because I was playing board games with Geekster and the gremz. I could have gone to get a latte but that involves getting dressed in real clothing and running out before eleven... That is, if it closes at eleven. It might be ten. I'm not sure because I'm not usually out that late.
I am so cool it makes people cry.
I did other things today, too. I dyed my hair. It's hip. It's fashionable. It's hot. It's brown. Like before, but with no grey roots. I stink now and the baby makes funny faces when I hold him.
I watched the second Lord of the Rings. That was after the first Lord of the Rings, which I watched yesterday. I may watch the second installment of Clerks, which makes fun of people like me who watch Lord of the Rings.
I posted on two message boards throughout the day. I did that while waiting for laundry to dry so I could fold it and put it away. I posted about stuff that's so mundane it would make your eyes water to read it. Only people more dull than I am could get any joy out of what I had to say.
I had coffee with my husband and discussed a lot of nothing in the livingroom. It was good coffee. And frankly, if you can talk about nothing with your husband and not have it bore you to the point of wanting to stab yourself in the temple with a letter opener, that's the sign of a good marriage.
So, I guess you could say I worked on my marriage today. Or took its pulse, which was a healthy 75. Or um... had coffee with my husband and tried to make it out to be something more important than that later on.
I read a hilarious story on Steve Novak's site that my mother is NOT allowed to read. It's about sperm and her eyes will burn out of her skull if she does, so I pray that she heeds my warning (note how I said 'heed', which is so Lord of the Rings. Just shoot me now.)
I added some new self-absorbed exhibitionists to my links. I also divided it in two: people I know and people I don't know. You might think that my goal is to have everyone want to get to know me so they can make the first list. This is true. I am not-so-discreetely saying that I am worth knowing and it would be an honour to be listed there.
Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the goal of a lot of people on List 1 might be to get themselves put on List 2. Do you really want the world to know that you've had some kind of relationship with me, even if it's only online? If your coolness factor is zero then maybe. Otherwise, it's a one-way ticket to Loserville. I'm a stay-at-home-mom who speaks endlessly of AA meetings and makes up songs about coffee. I call my children 'gremlins' and add subtitles to videos of my baby. I laugh at stories about sperm going through the mail.
Good news for The Maven is that she is the only one who can access said lists. So like it or not, you are where you are. You can thank me (or beat me) by appointment only. Appointments involve buying me coffee. If you're there to beat me I also get a brownie.
Also, I have a shiny new email address. Feel free to alleviate my boredom any time: mavenmayhem at gmail dot com. You can figure out how to connect the dots and make it a proper address, I'm sure.
Please alleviate my boredom. Otherwise I might have to pay attention to my prose course or, heaven forbid, the kids. Then people might expect me to do productive things and... well, you can see what a slippery slope that is.