Eww. Just eww.
Yesterday it was a balmy 15c in the Ottawa area (that's 59f for the Yanks, Brits and others using that horrid system). We're currently sitting at 0c tonight (that would be the freezing point).
Surprisingly, we're all breathing a sigh of relief here in Canada. All the warm weather has been greatly messing with our schedule to create snow tunnels over the sidewalks..
Snow tunnels make a lot of sense up North. We generally get at least two meters (6.2 feet, ya'll) between Hallowe'en and Christmas, which is accumulated over two or three major snow storms. So what to do with all that snow? It costs a lot to clear it, so we figure it makes more sense to cover pedestrian walkways in the downtown area. All the snow plows have to do is push the white stuff up against the side of the road. It's then piled on top of a skeletal construct of dense, sturdy metal. Ice is lightly sprayed over top to hold everything in place, and voila: a windless tunnel about two people wide.
There have been a few minor issues, however. A couple of yahoos on skidoos have whipped through the tunnels at night only to meet up with a drunken college student walking home from a bar. One guy was killed last year in a skidoo-pedestrian accident. Dogs (mostly huskies up here, for obvious reasons) are far more territorial in the tunnels. It's probably the enclosed space. You can sometimes find old dog blood in the snow. It doesn't come out, either, so they bring some snow into the tunnel to cover it up. If you walk on it enough it comes right through, though. Still, I'd take the blood over dog urine any day. They really should ban canines in covered walkways.
...
I once told a similar story to someone in Kentucky who actually believed me. I made it far less believable, too. I told him we had snow tunnels over our highways, but only the ones with four lanes or more. I also said that at some border crossings you could trade in your car for a skidoo. Apparently this all sounded legit. Frightening, isn't it? Something even scarier is that I'm not the first one to tell someone a ridiculous story about Canada and have them believe it. In fact, Canadian comedian Rick Mercer made a one hour special about talking to Americans.
Now don't get all offended, kids. We all know he took only the most ignorant to show in his documentary. I'm sure at least half of all Americans know that Canada has access to the ocean. Maybe even 60%.
My favourite part is when he tells people that, thanks to the research into mapping the genome, it's been discovered that 80% of Canadians fall into the 'mentally retarded' category. He gets several people to tell us - on camera - that we should embrace what makes us special. He also gets the Governor of Iowa to congratulate us on moving from a 20 hour to a 24 hour day. Isn't that thoughtful?
Man, I never get tired of people making idiots of themselves. I think it's because I regularly make a complete ass of myself as well, and laughing at others makes me forget that for a time.
I haven't had much of a chance to look like a fool in public today. The weather has been terrible and it's caused me no end of grief. I managed to get Gutsy off to preschool, have some breakfast with The Madre and then make a quick Fourbucks run across the very windy bridge. However, I had big plans to hit up the grocery store for Intrepid's eight hour party tomorrow, as well as get to my 12 step meeting tonight. Apparently Lushgurl picked up her six month sobriety chip tonight and I missed it! I wish I could have made it there, but the thought of sliding off the road due to the lovely freezing rain we had for several hours earlier today was enough to derail me.
Bad pun very much intended.
So, I stayed home, made a nice dinner, cleaned up the house for said party tomorrow (four hours of family party + four hours of school friends party = one absolutely insane Maven for even considering doing something like that, even for her son's 10th birthday). , watched Superman Returns with Geekster and the Gremlins and am now posting in my blog so that I don't get people bugging me because I didn't post in my blog. There are several blog readers making their way here tomorrow and I want no lip.
Intrepid did something really cool today. He revealed that he shares my loathing for double negatives. I love him more every single day.
By contrast, I hate, hate, hate, HATE double negatives. I'd give an example, but I don't got none. I'm thrilled that he despises poor grammar as much as I do. I tend to make several grammatical errors in my sloppy blog entries, but at least I don't have room for no double negatives. I wince and clench my fists every single time I hear one. The mere thought makes me shudder.
Ironically, this comes from a girl who learned to read and write in english with no formal schooling in it for quite some time. I attended a french elementary school that had no formal instrunction in my maternal language until grade 5 (and didn't attend an english school until grade 8). As a result, I wing whatever I write and have a bitch of a time explaining grammar rules to my son, so I'm very glad he's a strong student.
The good news is that I'm quite adept at ordering Happy Meals in Quebec. Incidentally, they're called 'Joyeux Festins' in french. My knowledge is a gift to you.
I should head off to bed. We party at 1pm. The house is still a mess, the food hasn't been shopped for and I'm so not looking forward to scraping off my minivan in the morning. Maybe I can tip my sled dog trainer a little extra to do that for me.
Yesterday it was a balmy 15c in the Ottawa area (that's 59f for the Yanks, Brits and others using that horrid system). We're currently sitting at 0c tonight (that would be the freezing point).
Surprisingly, we're all breathing a sigh of relief here in Canada. All the warm weather has been greatly messing with our schedule to create snow tunnels over the sidewalks..
Snow tunnels make a lot of sense up North. We generally get at least two meters (6.2 feet, ya'll) between Hallowe'en and Christmas, which is accumulated over two or three major snow storms. So what to do with all that snow? It costs a lot to clear it, so we figure it makes more sense to cover pedestrian walkways in the downtown area. All the snow plows have to do is push the white stuff up against the side of the road. It's then piled on top of a skeletal construct of dense, sturdy metal. Ice is lightly sprayed over top to hold everything in place, and voila: a windless tunnel about two people wide.
There have been a few minor issues, however. A couple of yahoos on skidoos have whipped through the tunnels at night only to meet up with a drunken college student walking home from a bar. One guy was killed last year in a skidoo-pedestrian accident. Dogs (mostly huskies up here, for obvious reasons) are far more territorial in the tunnels. It's probably the enclosed space. You can sometimes find old dog blood in the snow. It doesn't come out, either, so they bring some snow into the tunnel to cover it up. If you walk on it enough it comes right through, though. Still, I'd take the blood over dog urine any day. They really should ban canines in covered walkways.
...
I once told a similar story to someone in Kentucky who actually believed me. I made it far less believable, too. I told him we had snow tunnels over our highways, but only the ones with four lanes or more. I also said that at some border crossings you could trade in your car for a skidoo. Apparently this all sounded legit. Frightening, isn't it? Something even scarier is that I'm not the first one to tell someone a ridiculous story about Canada and have them believe it. In fact, Canadian comedian Rick Mercer made a one hour special about talking to Americans.
Now don't get all offended, kids. We all know he took only the most ignorant to show in his documentary. I'm sure at least half of all Americans know that Canada has access to the ocean. Maybe even 60%.
My favourite part is when he tells people that, thanks to the research into mapping the genome, it's been discovered that 80% of Canadians fall into the 'mentally retarded' category. He gets several people to tell us - on camera - that we should embrace what makes us special. He also gets the Governor of Iowa to congratulate us on moving from a 20 hour to a 24 hour day. Isn't that thoughtful?
Man, I never get tired of people making idiots of themselves. I think it's because I regularly make a complete ass of myself as well, and laughing at others makes me forget that for a time.
***
I haven't had much of a chance to look like a fool in public today. The weather has been terrible and it's caused me no end of grief. I managed to get Gutsy off to preschool, have some breakfast with The Madre and then make a quick Fourbucks run across the very windy bridge. However, I had big plans to hit up the grocery store for Intrepid's eight hour party tomorrow, as well as get to my 12 step meeting tonight. Apparently Lushgurl picked up her six month sobriety chip tonight and I missed it! I wish I could have made it there, but the thought of sliding off the road due to the lovely freezing rain we had for several hours earlier today was enough to derail me.
Bad pun very much intended.
So, I stayed home, made a nice dinner, cleaned up the house for said party tomorrow (four hours of family party + four hours of school friends party = one absolutely insane Maven for even considering doing something like that, even for her son's 10th birthday). , watched Superman Returns with Geekster and the Gremlins and am now posting in my blog so that I don't get people bugging me because I didn't post in my blog. There are several blog readers making their way here tomorrow and I want no lip.
Intrepid did something really cool today. He revealed that he shares my loathing for double negatives. I love him more every single day.
By contrast, I hate, hate, hate, HATE double negatives. I'd give an example, but I don't got none. I'm thrilled that he despises poor grammar as much as I do. I tend to make several grammatical errors in my sloppy blog entries, but at least I don't have room for no double negatives. I wince and clench my fists every single time I hear one. The mere thought makes me shudder.
Ironically, this comes from a girl who learned to read and write in english with no formal schooling in it for quite some time. I attended a french elementary school that had no formal instrunction in my maternal language until grade 5 (and didn't attend an english school until grade 8). As a result, I wing whatever I write and have a bitch of a time explaining grammar rules to my son, so I'm very glad he's a strong student.
The good news is that I'm quite adept at ordering Happy Meals in Quebec. Incidentally, they're called 'Joyeux Festins' in french. My knowledge is a gift to you.
I should head off to bed. We party at 1pm. The house is still a mess, the food hasn't been shopped for and I'm so not looking forward to scraping off my minivan in the morning. Maybe I can tip my sled dog trainer a little extra to do that for me.