Does someone want to bring me a coffee? You can buy one about two blocks down the road from here.
See, my husband had a 9am conference call to Hong Kong he couldn't be late for. I woke up at 7:50, but hobbling two blocks and waiting in line was cutting it kind of short after I threw on some clothes (which makes it seem like I got dressed quickly, but can I do anything quickly these days?) and shoved my rat's nest of curly hair into a ponytail. So, I decided I had better wait until later, when I can convince the kids that they want to go on yet another Tim Hortons trip.
Normally I would just make some coffee here. Problem: our coffee maker is on the fritz and is making really weak crap right now. I've used up the majority of the decaf just trying to come up with a drinkable cup o' joe. I don't even have enough to attempt another disaster this morning.
Anyway, enough whining. It's Tuesday, and my only non-busy day this week. Horray! I believe I might get some company, but that's always up in the air. At any rate, she can bring me coffee if she comes over. See how this works? Tomorrow Intrepid has more rehearsals and Thursday is their first performance. They have to do a 45 minute set. Yikes! These kids are phenomenal, though. They're doing everything from pop to old jazz to the Spiderman theme. It's a mix of ages that was thrown together for this concert from various bands in the academy. They're calling it the 'All Star' band, I believe. Intrepid is the youngest at nine and the oldest is probably in grade 11. Some of them are learning these songs for the first time. I only wish I could pull something like that off! Kids brains are like sponges. My brain is also full of holes, but that's from previous drug use and age.
I spoke at length with my mother-in-law last night. They're coming up for the folk festival this weekend.
...
You're waiting for me to say something derogatory about it, aren't you? Well, I'm not. I'm strung up by my toes here. I have dozens of zingers about nearly-retired family attending the folk festival. Can you sense me restraining my comments? It's really, really hard. But, see, they want to take Intrepid with them for the day and even let him stay overnight at their camp site if he wants. Less children to look after = break for Maven = must not make fun of folk festivals because mother-in-law has admitted that she reads my trashy blog.
Maw-in-law and I also had a conversation that went something like this:
Maw-in-law: I wanted to ask you about your birthday present. I have an idea, but I don't know if you'll like it or not...
The Maven: Is it a pool boy? Oh, I might need a pool, too. But even just a pool boy is fine.
Maw-in-law: That sounds a bit pricey
The Maven: True. Is it a hot gardener?
Maw-in-law: Not quite...
The Maven: Oh! A maid? I only need one to do my floors, bathrooms and windows. She can be cute so your son has something to look at. That's fine as long as she cleans.
Maw-in-law: I'll get right on your requests.
The Maven: Excellent!
So just when I thought I was getting a cute little french maid, a hot gardener and a pool boy with a pool, she tells me what she was really thinking. I was temporarily crushed.
Maw-in-law: would you like a day at a spa?
Like I said, I was temporarily crushed. A day at a what now? One of those places where they would pamper me, a grotesquely enormous pregnant woman who can barely move?
Maw-in-law, could you grab my arm and twist it just so? OUCH! YES! YES! OK, I'LL TAKE THE DAY AT THE SPA!
Some people are really rough.
Countown to oldness: 17 days.
At least I have something to look forward to! When I wake up on the day of my 30th birthday and suddenly I have two dozen more wrinkles and a walker in the hallway, at least I know I have something to look forward to.
See, my husband had a 9am conference call to Hong Kong he couldn't be late for. I woke up at 7:50, but hobbling two blocks and waiting in line was cutting it kind of short after I threw on some clothes (which makes it seem like I got dressed quickly, but can I do anything quickly these days?) and shoved my rat's nest of curly hair into a ponytail. So, I decided I had better wait until later, when I can convince the kids that they want to go on yet another Tim Hortons trip.
Normally I would just make some coffee here. Problem: our coffee maker is on the fritz and is making really weak crap right now. I've used up the majority of the decaf just trying to come up with a drinkable cup o' joe. I don't even have enough to attempt another disaster this morning.
Anyway, enough whining. It's Tuesday, and my only non-busy day this week. Horray! I believe I might get some company, but that's always up in the air. At any rate, she can bring me coffee if she comes over. See how this works? Tomorrow Intrepid has more rehearsals and Thursday is their first performance. They have to do a 45 minute set. Yikes! These kids are phenomenal, though. They're doing everything from pop to old jazz to the Spiderman theme. It's a mix of ages that was thrown together for this concert from various bands in the academy. They're calling it the 'All Star' band, I believe. Intrepid is the youngest at nine and the oldest is probably in grade 11. Some of them are learning these songs for the first time. I only wish I could pull something like that off! Kids brains are like sponges. My brain is also full of holes, but that's from previous drug use and age.
I spoke at length with my mother-in-law last night. They're coming up for the folk festival this weekend.
...
You're waiting for me to say something derogatory about it, aren't you? Well, I'm not. I'm strung up by my toes here. I have dozens of zingers about nearly-retired family attending the folk festival. Can you sense me restraining my comments? It's really, really hard. But, see, they want to take Intrepid with them for the day and even let him stay overnight at their camp site if he wants. Less children to look after = break for Maven = must not make fun of folk festivals because mother-in-law has admitted that she reads my trashy blog.
Maw-in-law and I also had a conversation that went something like this:
Maw-in-law: I wanted to ask you about your birthday present. I have an idea, but I don't know if you'll like it or not...
The Maven: Is it a pool boy? Oh, I might need a pool, too. But even just a pool boy is fine.
Maw-in-law: That sounds a bit pricey
The Maven: True. Is it a hot gardener?
Maw-in-law: Not quite...
The Maven: Oh! A maid? I only need one to do my floors, bathrooms and windows. She can be cute so your son has something to look at. That's fine as long as she cleans.
Maw-in-law: I'll get right on your requests.
The Maven: Excellent!
So just when I thought I was getting a cute little french maid, a hot gardener and a pool boy with a pool, she tells me what she was really thinking. I was temporarily crushed.
Maw-in-law: would you like a day at a spa?
Like I said, I was temporarily crushed. A day at a what now? One of those places where they would pamper me, a grotesquely enormous pregnant woman who can barely move?
Maw-in-law, could you grab my arm and twist it just so? OUCH! YES! YES! OK, I'LL TAKE THE DAY AT THE SPA!
Some people are really rough.
Countown to oldness: 17 days.
At least I have something to look forward to! When I wake up on the day of my 30th birthday and suddenly I have two dozen more wrinkles and a walker in the hallway, at least I know I have something to look forward to.