Back-to-sanity, er, school shopping, that is.
We hit up the old people mall to get some goods this afternoon. I almost always shop there when I have the boys. Why? Because it's set up for people who walk slowly and in short bursts, which makes it a perfect spot to bring kids. It's on one floor, it's carpeted and there are really nice couches to sit on. Also, the elderly seem to have endless patience for my gremlins, smiling when Gutsy slams into one of their walkers while he's walking backwards, for example (*sigh*). They don't seem to pick up on the fact that I'm basically yelling to get my children's attention because so many of them are hearing impaired, too! It's the perfect setup.
Not only did we do the old people mall, but we also did the old people restaurant in Sears. Why is it that every Sears restaurant I come across is packed with white-haired old women? I swear that 90% of their customers are collecting a pension. Old people restaurants are like goldmines for the same reason the malls are: Anyone who picks up on Intrepid spinning around in his seat or Gutsy's mad dash under the table... smiles at it. It's odd, but it's true. There are no frowns in the Sears restaurant. Only endearing grins of approval. An oasis in the desert for a pregnant mother and her two busy children.
Clothes shopping was... interesting. I keep trying to find a better way to put that, but it seems like the nicest way to say it. Otherwise I might refer to it as hell on earth, or my penance for squishing so many ants in my lifetime, or just reward for not letting that person switch lanes the other day.
Gutsy hid in clothing racks. By 'hid' I mean that he dove into them, walked around inside them making animal noises and knocked over several articles of clothing in the process. He also ran around them, yelling 'Come catch me!'. He took mobiles off of playpens and attempted to crawl into a few strollers. While people were examining them. Oh, joy.
Intrepid kept grabbing Gutsy, even though Gutsy would then scream 'Don't grab me!' and flail at him, knocking over more clothing articles. The words 'no', 'please don't do that' and 'how many times do I have to tell you the same thing?' made little difference. I might as well have been invisible.
There are good shopping days and there are bad shopping days. I never know until I get there. It's like a crap shoot, really.
Then, a golden light shone down upon me. By 'a golden light shone down upon me' I mean a woman with three boys walked into the same section we were in and havoc ensued. Absolute chaos that made the gremlins' behaviour seem saintly by comparison. She looked more frazzled than I did. She looked more tired than I did. She looked like no amount of old people smiles would make her shopping experience a less frustrating one.
And you know, I felt a lot better. I really did.
Until I remembered that I'm about to have my third boy.
The irony of life: 1
Maven: 0
Foiled again.
We hit up the old people mall to get some goods this afternoon. I almost always shop there when I have the boys. Why? Because it's set up for people who walk slowly and in short bursts, which makes it a perfect spot to bring kids. It's on one floor, it's carpeted and there are really nice couches to sit on. Also, the elderly seem to have endless patience for my gremlins, smiling when Gutsy slams into one of their walkers while he's walking backwards, for example (*sigh*). They don't seem to pick up on the fact that I'm basically yelling to get my children's attention because so many of them are hearing impaired, too! It's the perfect setup.
Not only did we do the old people mall, but we also did the old people restaurant in Sears. Why is it that every Sears restaurant I come across is packed with white-haired old women? I swear that 90% of their customers are collecting a pension. Old people restaurants are like goldmines for the same reason the malls are: Anyone who picks up on Intrepid spinning around in his seat or Gutsy's mad dash under the table... smiles at it. It's odd, but it's true. There are no frowns in the Sears restaurant. Only endearing grins of approval. An oasis in the desert for a pregnant mother and her two busy children.
Clothes shopping was... interesting. I keep trying to find a better way to put that, but it seems like the nicest way to say it. Otherwise I might refer to it as hell on earth, or my penance for squishing so many ants in my lifetime, or just reward for not letting that person switch lanes the other day.
Gutsy hid in clothing racks. By 'hid' I mean that he dove into them, walked around inside them making animal noises and knocked over several articles of clothing in the process. He also ran around them, yelling 'Come catch me!'. He took mobiles off of playpens and attempted to crawl into a few strollers. While people were examining them. Oh, joy.
Intrepid kept grabbing Gutsy, even though Gutsy would then scream 'Don't grab me!' and flail at him, knocking over more clothing articles. The words 'no', 'please don't do that' and 'how many times do I have to tell you the same thing?' made little difference. I might as well have been invisible.
There are good shopping days and there are bad shopping days. I never know until I get there. It's like a crap shoot, really.
Then, a golden light shone down upon me. By 'a golden light shone down upon me' I mean a woman with three boys walked into the same section we were in and havoc ensued. Absolute chaos that made the gremlins' behaviour seem saintly by comparison. She looked more frazzled than I did. She looked more tired than I did. She looked like no amount of old people smiles would make her shopping experience a less frustrating one.
And you know, I felt a lot better. I really did.
Until I remembered that I'm about to have my third boy.
The irony of life: 1
Maven: 0
Foiled again.