Oh yes, there's a sequel.
Now, I must say, my friend Thac0 never ceases to amaze me. Just when I thought she couldn't gross me out further, she let me in on two more delicacies from her neck of the woods.
First, let me introduce you to pepperoni balls. She loves these things. Here's how they're made:
Ok, let me get this straight: First of all, you use a 'tub' of cheese. I don't believe I've ever seen one of those. Then you add some cream cheese (I've seen tubs of these, mind you). I'm with you so far.
Then french onion dip for added... oniony flavour? People, between the cheese and the pepperoni, your breath is going to stink enough to kill off anyone within ten feet as it is. You do not need to add onion in there, too.
So then...This is where things start to go very, very wrong. You not only add pepperoni, but you GRATE IT?! You grate pepperoni? Seriously? Look, the poor animal(s) has been through enough processing to make the pepperoni a reality. You don't have to put it through a grater, too.
And then you shape this monstrosity into a 'dome'? Like the Pope dome or something? Finally, just to totally kill off your gall bladder, you put MORE pepperoni on top of the holy dome.
Wow. Just... wow.
Then, we have Funyuns! Why, oh why, did she have to tell me about these?
For those of you who don't know me, I have a severe allergy to onions. Raw onions, actually. But I also loathe the taste of them, most likely due to the association with my throat closing up and death beating down my door. Just a guess.
This shouldn't even have to be said, but the words 'fun' and 'onions' should never co-exist. Neverevereverever. This is just plain wrong. It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons. And to combine them is just too much for me to handle. To top it all off, the company uses 'onion extract' on these chemical-laden chip-thingies that somewhat resemble onion rings. What the hell are you doing to get onion extract? Are you juicing the onion? Does the person who juices the onion get any action at all? Because I'm guessing he or she doesn't smell all that nice at the end of an eight hour shift.
How do you describe your job, anyway? Are you an onion juicer? A vegetable extractor? Do you get financial compensation because you cry on the job a lot?
I'm mortified. I'm going upstairs to hug my pillow now.
Now, I must say, my friend Thac0 never ceases to amaze me. Just when I thought she couldn't gross me out further, she let me in on two more delicacies from her neck of the woods.
First, let me introduce you to pepperoni balls. She loves these things. Here's how they're made:
- 1 tub Cracker Barrel Cheese (8 oz)
- 8 oz Soft cream cheese
- 3 tbsp french onion dip
- 1/2 stick pepperoni (grated)
Ok, let me get this straight: First of all, you use a 'tub' of cheese. I don't believe I've ever seen one of those. Then you add some cream cheese (I've seen tubs of these, mind you). I'm with you so far.
Then french onion dip for added... oniony flavour? People, between the cheese and the pepperoni, your breath is going to stink enough to kill off anyone within ten feet as it is. You do not need to add onion in there, too.
So then...This is where things start to go very, very wrong. You not only add pepperoni, but you GRATE IT?! You grate pepperoni? Seriously? Look, the poor animal(s) has been through enough processing to make the pepperoni a reality. You don't have to put it through a grater, too.
And then you shape this monstrosity into a 'dome'? Like the Pope dome or something? Finally, just to totally kill off your gall bladder, you put MORE pepperoni on top of the holy dome.
Wow. Just... wow.
Then, we have Funyuns! Why, oh why, did she have to tell me about these?
For those of you who don't know me, I have a severe allergy to onions. Raw onions, actually. But I also loathe the taste of them, most likely due to the association with my throat closing up and death beating down my door. Just a guess.
This shouldn't even have to be said, but the words 'fun' and 'onions' should never co-exist. Neverevereverever. This is just plain wrong. It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons. And to combine them is just too much for me to handle. To top it all off, the company uses 'onion extract' on these chemical-laden chip-thingies that somewhat resemble onion rings. What the hell are you doing to get onion extract? Are you juicing the onion? Does the person who juices the onion get any action at all? Because I'm guessing he or she doesn't smell all that nice at the end of an eight hour shift.
How do you describe your job, anyway? Are you an onion juicer? A vegetable extractor? Do you get financial compensation because you cry on the job a lot?
I'm mortified. I'm going upstairs to hug my pillow now.