The Maven's Virus Surprise with a side of Insomnia
Add the following ingredients:
1 sick preschooler
1 about-to-get-sick gradeschooler
1 mother with compromised immune system*
*To make compromised immune system, add pregnancy, too much housework, busy children, errands galore and out of town guests. or use any frozen leftovers of chicken with head cut off souffle.
Throw everything in at once. Mix vigorously. Um, what the hell is that? That's not vigorous. That's prissy mixing. I'm talking breaking-the-spoon-and-crap-flying-out-of-the-bowl stirring. Not this don't-I-look-cute-in-my-new-apron-and-ten-pounds-lighter stirring. Don't be a wuss.
Set aside for a while. Enjoy dinner with your inlaws (and I'm not being sarcastic for once. I actually really like my inlaws. No, really. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I gave my mother-in-law the URL for my blog and know that she could check it at any time. Nope. She's really sweet. And beautiful. And talented.)
Once the Virus Surprise hardens, it's time to add in the insomnia element. The getting sick gradechooler should now have a full-out cold. The compromised immunity should have worked into the mother as well. She should be feeling like ass at this point.
Remove 1 husband from home and send him to a geek party (I realize this is an oxymoron, but work with me).
Put both sick children to bed.
Start playing a new computer game. The gradeschooler will tell you he can't sleep.
Put him back to bed and go back to playing your game. The gradeschooler will tell you once again that he can't sleep.
Talk to someone on the phone for an hour while the gradeschooler continues to tell you he can't get to sleep. Optional ingredients at this point include:
4 tuck ins
2 glasses of water
1 trip to the bathroom
45 minutes of lights-on-so-you-can-read-yourself-to-sleep time
2 threats
2 instances of raised voice
1 now sick AND upset gradeschooler
1 sick AND apologetic mother
1 interrupted bath by a still awake gradeschooler, even after all that
Add in husband at 1am and stir in now sick AND emotionally distraught AND sleep deprived mother. Bring preschooler into bed with parents. He should pass out by 2am.
Sick mother will now be sick mother who can't breathe and tosses and turns until 4am when she finally moves to the couch and passes out.
Serve and ENJOY! Yum!
Add the following ingredients:
1 sick preschooler
1 about-to-get-sick gradeschooler
1 mother with compromised immune system*
*To make compromised immune system, add pregnancy, too much housework, busy children, errands galore and out of town guests. or use any frozen leftovers of chicken with head cut off souffle.
Throw everything in at once. Mix vigorously. Um, what the hell is that? That's not vigorous. That's prissy mixing. I'm talking breaking-the-spoon-and-crap-flying-out-of-the-bowl stirring. Not this don't-I-look-cute-in-my-new-apron-and-ten-pounds-lighter stirring. Don't be a wuss.
Set aside for a while. Enjoy dinner with your inlaws (and I'm not being sarcastic for once. I actually really like my inlaws. No, really. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I gave my mother-in-law the URL for my blog and know that she could check it at any time. Nope. She's really sweet. And beautiful. And talented.)
Once the Virus Surprise hardens, it's time to add in the insomnia element. The getting sick gradechooler should now have a full-out cold. The compromised immunity should have worked into the mother as well. She should be feeling like ass at this point.
Remove 1 husband from home and send him to a geek party (I realize this is an oxymoron, but work with me).
Put both sick children to bed.
Start playing a new computer game. The gradeschooler will tell you he can't sleep.
Put him back to bed and go back to playing your game. The gradeschooler will tell you once again that he can't sleep.
Talk to someone on the phone for an hour while the gradeschooler continues to tell you he can't get to sleep. Optional ingredients at this point include:
4 tuck ins
2 glasses of water
1 trip to the bathroom
45 minutes of lights-on-so-you-can-read-yourself-to-sleep time
2 threats
2 instances of raised voice
1 now sick AND upset gradeschooler
1 sick AND apologetic mother
1 interrupted bath by a still awake gradeschooler, even after all that
Add in husband at 1am and stir in now sick AND emotionally distraught AND sleep deprived mother. Bring preschooler into bed with parents. He should pass out by 2am.
Sick mother will now be sick mother who can't breathe and tosses and turns until 4am when she finally moves to the couch and passes out.
Serve and ENJOY! Yum!