Dear Uma Thurman,
Since you and other celebrities must surely check my blog on a regular basis in order to keep up with the goings on of my incredible life and learn from my endless wisdom, I felt this was a good place to write to you regarding this little tidbit found in the Boston Globe, under the heading 'Thurman lauds the working mom'.
[snip]"Like many women, Uma Thurman often feels torn between her family and career. ``I've learned that every working mom is a superwoman," the 36-year-old actress tells Parade magazine in its July 16 issue. ``For most of the world, it's really a necessity. The stay-at-home mom is over not just because of women's liberation but because of men's liberation from wanting to be the breadwinners."[/snip]
First of all, I must say that I tire of celebrities' attempts to judge what is normal in everyday life, especially where parenting is involved. Celebrities who had children after making it big are about as ignorant to the concept of how the average, modern family lives as I am about designer handbags and award ceremonies.
Not everyone can afford a nanny. Not everyone can stipulate in their work contracts that they'd like their children on site when they're working. Not everyone can afford to take weeks or months off with their children between said contracts. So while you may say "I have a great career and two healthy, beautiful, smart and funny children. We're an incredibly tight-knit threesome, and we have so much fun together", you speak from the life of a wealthy actress who had children with a wealthy actor and is among the priviledged few who can afford the very best childcare and demand the most optimal working conditions conducive to raising young children.
As for the 'SAHM being over' and the working mother being a 'superwoman', my only thought is this: If you have to be a superwoman to work - meaning, in my interpretation, that you have to balance career, family and personal time using some astounding mental, physical and emotional prowess - then perhaps trying to have it all at once is overrated. Granted, sometimes it has to be done, but I can certainly see why so many parents are overwhelmed and burned out.
We need to examine why we devalue the role of raising children in our society. Why do we fear judgement and a drop in self-worth if we choose to raise our children in lieu of a paycheck? Why do we value material goods and instant gratification more than our own families? Why has the circle of parents who 'need to both work' grown to such a staggering number? And, at the same time, why are more families than ever going into debt, arguing over money and falling apart at the seams?
It certainly appears that many a superwoman (or, to be fair, the entire super family) has run into a wall of kryptonite by trying to do it all.
So, while I'm glad you have a strong relationship with your children and a good career, I think I'll leave the superhuman powers to you. I'm going to slowly build up a career I can do from home, growing it gently as my children get older and no longer need quite so much of my time. I won't do it so I can buy a third home in Italy or pay my dog walker, but so that I can save for my children's futures. I won't judge the two-parent working family, as I know many amazing ones who love and value their children as much as I do. However, I will continue to keep the stay-at-home-mom movement alive in my own way, by enjoying every minute of the time I'm spending with my children and showing them that women can be strong feminists and full-time mothers, too.
However, please feel free to send me any cast-off designer handbags.
Sincerely,
The Maven in the Mayhem
Since you and other celebrities must surely check my blog on a regular basis in order to keep up with the goings on of my incredible life and learn from my endless wisdom, I felt this was a good place to write to you regarding this little tidbit found in the Boston Globe, under the heading 'Thurman lauds the working mom'.
[snip]"Like many women, Uma Thurman often feels torn between her family and career. ``I've learned that every working mom is a superwoman," the 36-year-old actress tells Parade magazine in its July 16 issue. ``For most of the world, it's really a necessity. The stay-at-home mom is over not just because of women's liberation but because of men's liberation from wanting to be the breadwinners."[/snip]
First of all, I must say that I tire of celebrities' attempts to judge what is normal in everyday life, especially where parenting is involved. Celebrities who had children after making it big are about as ignorant to the concept of how the average, modern family lives as I am about designer handbags and award ceremonies.
Not everyone can afford a nanny. Not everyone can stipulate in their work contracts that they'd like their children on site when they're working. Not everyone can afford to take weeks or months off with their children between said contracts. So while you may say "I have a great career and two healthy, beautiful, smart and funny children. We're an incredibly tight-knit threesome, and we have so much fun together", you speak from the life of a wealthy actress who had children with a wealthy actor and is among the priviledged few who can afford the very best childcare and demand the most optimal working conditions conducive to raising young children.
As for the 'SAHM being over' and the working mother being a 'superwoman', my only thought is this: If you have to be a superwoman to work - meaning, in my interpretation, that you have to balance career, family and personal time using some astounding mental, physical and emotional prowess - then perhaps trying to have it all at once is overrated. Granted, sometimes it has to be done, but I can certainly see why so many parents are overwhelmed and burned out.
We need to examine why we devalue the role of raising children in our society. Why do we fear judgement and a drop in self-worth if we choose to raise our children in lieu of a paycheck? Why do we value material goods and instant gratification more than our own families? Why has the circle of parents who 'need to both work' grown to such a staggering number? And, at the same time, why are more families than ever going into debt, arguing over money and falling apart at the seams?
It certainly appears that many a superwoman (or, to be fair, the entire super family) has run into a wall of kryptonite by trying to do it all.
So, while I'm glad you have a strong relationship with your children and a good career, I think I'll leave the superhuman powers to you. I'm going to slowly build up a career I can do from home, growing it gently as my children get older and no longer need quite so much of my time. I won't do it so I can buy a third home in Italy or pay my dog walker, but so that I can save for my children's futures. I won't judge the two-parent working family, as I know many amazing ones who love and value their children as much as I do. However, I will continue to keep the stay-at-home-mom movement alive in my own way, by enjoying every minute of the time I'm spending with my children and showing them that women can be strong feminists and full-time mothers, too.
However, please feel free to send me any cast-off designer handbags.
Sincerely,
The Maven in the Mayhem