The Maven's recipe for "Chaos in a Box"
Take a boxy-looking home that is open-concept and allows for a lot of noise to run freely through the square footage.
Add the following:
- a nine-year-old and a three-year-old who slept well but get hyper easily
- an eighteen-month-old who makes strange and her four-year-old brother
- three siblings, ages eleven, five and three
Mix well, then add a hot, humid day that involves wanting to spend more time indoors than out, a lunch high in carboyhydrates and a trip to Tim Hortons for that extra sweet je-ne-sais-quoi.
Add two overwhelmed mothers and serve.
Makes two generous helpings of chaos but could serve four comfortably.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's 1:26pm on Tuesday. My amazingly scarce but lovable friend and I just finished our helpings of Chaos in a Box. She just went home, as overhwelmed and nearly as tired as I am. I don't have a good name for her yet. She's an aesthetician, so I think I'll call her 'Pettycure' until I come up with something snappier. She'll forgive me for now. We'll have a vote sometime next week and pick her something more appealing.
I have today, tomorrow and Thursday morning left in Daycareville. I then have a prenatal, followed by a large amount of (inexpensive, due to a shrunken income) celebratory proceedures to go through.
First, I will walk to the Tim Hortons in the middle of the afternoon with only my children. Booyeah. That's right. That means only two. And one is nine and helps me look after the other. And I will buy something incredibly sweet and fattening for them and only them, because they are the only ones in my care. And I will not worry about what their mom will think of me buying them junk, because I am the mom of all children in attendance. It's practically a biological funfest.
Second, I will come home and take a bath before 4:30, which is the time Daycare Boy and Girl normally get picked up at. I will have one before because I can. No other reason. Well, either that or because I still have doppler goop on my belly. But even if I'm clean, I'm taking a damn bath.
Third, I will stay up late. It doesn't matter how tired I am, because I will spaz out Utero Boy by feeding he and I a cup of coffee in the late evening. I need to stay up late so that I can sleep in. I need to sleep in because usually I have to wake up at 7:15 to start my daycare day. I will not get out of bed before 9am. I will not. If I have to keep some juice boxes and Goldfish crackers next to the bed so I can serve my kids some type of morning sustenance without going vertical, I will. Mark my words.
On Friday I will do whatever the kids want to do. We will eat lunch at any other time than 11:30am. We will go to the park at any other time than right after lunch. Will will have a non-schedule because... well, because we can. Even just for a day. Just because we can. And on Friday evening I will go to my 12 step meeting with such a huge grin on my face that they'll think I had a few shots of shnapps before showing up. They can bask in my I-get-to-be-a-full-time-caregiver-to-just-my-children-again aura. It will be beautiful.
I must say again how much I love the kids I'm watching. It's just that I hate doing daycare. I love the kids and I enjoy their company, but I would like it more if their mom came with them and wiped their bums and noses instead of me and went home after three hours. Does that make any sense? I'm just not cut out for this job. I can admit defeat maturely and happily.
Three days, baby. Three days.
I must go put away the Chaos in a Box leftovers for later, after everyone is done quiet time. There's always time for seconds!
Take a boxy-looking home that is open-concept and allows for a lot of noise to run freely through the square footage.
Add the following:
- a nine-year-old and a three-year-old who slept well but get hyper easily
- an eighteen-month-old who makes strange and her four-year-old brother
- three siblings, ages eleven, five and three
Mix well, then add a hot, humid day that involves wanting to spend more time indoors than out, a lunch high in carboyhydrates and a trip to Tim Hortons for that extra sweet je-ne-sais-quoi.
Add two overwhelmed mothers and serve.
Makes two generous helpings of chaos but could serve four comfortably.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's 1:26pm on Tuesday. My amazingly scarce but lovable friend and I just finished our helpings of Chaos in a Box. She just went home, as overhwelmed and nearly as tired as I am. I don't have a good name for her yet. She's an aesthetician, so I think I'll call her 'Pettycure' until I come up with something snappier. She'll forgive me for now. We'll have a vote sometime next week and pick her something more appealing.
I have today, tomorrow and Thursday morning left in Daycareville. I then have a prenatal, followed by a large amount of (inexpensive, due to a shrunken income) celebratory proceedures to go through.
First, I will walk to the Tim Hortons in the middle of the afternoon with only my children. Booyeah. That's right. That means only two. And one is nine and helps me look after the other. And I will buy something incredibly sweet and fattening for them and only them, because they are the only ones in my care. And I will not worry about what their mom will think of me buying them junk, because I am the mom of all children in attendance. It's practically a biological funfest.
Second, I will come home and take a bath before 4:30, which is the time Daycare Boy and Girl normally get picked up at. I will have one before because I can. No other reason. Well, either that or because I still have doppler goop on my belly. But even if I'm clean, I'm taking a damn bath.
Third, I will stay up late. It doesn't matter how tired I am, because I will spaz out Utero Boy by feeding he and I a cup of coffee in the late evening. I need to stay up late so that I can sleep in. I need to sleep in because usually I have to wake up at 7:15 to start my daycare day. I will not get out of bed before 9am. I will not. If I have to keep some juice boxes and Goldfish crackers next to the bed so I can serve my kids some type of morning sustenance without going vertical, I will. Mark my words.
On Friday I will do whatever the kids want to do. We will eat lunch at any other time than 11:30am. We will go to the park at any other time than right after lunch. Will will have a non-schedule because... well, because we can. Even just for a day. Just because we can. And on Friday evening I will go to my 12 step meeting with such a huge grin on my face that they'll think I had a few shots of shnapps before showing up. They can bask in my I-get-to-be-a-full-time-caregiver-to-just-my-children-again aura. It will be beautiful.
I must say again how much I love the kids I'm watching. It's just that I hate doing daycare. I love the kids and I enjoy their company, but I would like it more if their mom came with them and wiped their bums and noses instead of me and went home after three hours. Does that make any sense? I'm just not cut out for this job. I can admit defeat maturely and happily.
Three days, baby. Three days.
I must go put away the Chaos in a Box leftovers for later, after everyone is done quiet time. There's always time for seconds!