Here's a helpful tidbit for you:

If you have dry, eczema-prone hands like mine (thanks, stress), you should use one of those thick, pasty creams to protect them before running errands.

Slab a bunch on. Don't be shy about it. Just put that shit all over your hands, give it a minute to sink in, and then head out. Running errands is enough of a pain without actual pain to contend with, you know.

Go to the store. Go to the post office. Go get some groceries. Chat with everyone and smile wide, because you're a friendly sort.  Be polite, crack a few jokes, and when people look at you, just chalk it up to the positive energy emanating from your being.

Your hands will feel great throughout all of this, by the way, because that lavender cream has magical properties.

Oh, but before you head out, go look in the mirror.

Please go look in the mirror.

Because, at some point right after you put on the cream, you might have touched your hair and left a big, white glob of it dangling on a curl next to your cheek a la There's Something About Mary.

And if you don't check the mirror, you're not going to know about it until you get home. You might, at that point, be absolutely mortified and spend the rest of the day Google mapping your way to different grocery stores and post offices.

So, please, to avoid being the focus of a prayer circle at every church in town next Sunday, just look in the mirror.

Scratch one off the bucket list, because I finally managed to look like Cameron Diaz.