Fear, Writer's Block, and some four-year-old Therapy
I'm a writer. And, like all writers I know, I sometimes suffer from writer's block. This can be exacerbated by the following things:
1. Sprained shoulder (check)
2. Colds that turn into bacterial bronchitis (check)
3. Sprained shoulders promptly followed by bronchitis (double check)
4. Convenient excuses (like injuries and illness, for example - some mad check-age going on, yo.)
5. Riding on said convenient excuses for 3 weeks (check times infinity)
The truth is, I'm lacking in confidence when it comes to writing anything lately. I feel like this is what I want to do for a living - what I should be doing, and what I'm good at doing - and yet I haven't quite managed to attain that.
And I can use many excuses spanning a long way back - three babies, being home for fourteen years, exhaustion due to the aforementioned two items - but I know people who've achieved more with a lot more on their plates (Look at the awesome Laurie, for example, who is a published author, a mom, and a cancer survivor). What I'm missing is motivation, and that motivation is missing because I'm afraid I'll never make it. And, since I'm afraid of failure, I simply haven't tried.
So how do you get over being afraid of something?
I'm now I'm in my mid-thirties, and having what I think might be considered a mid-life crisis, whereby I'm examining the last thirty-four years of my life and wondering if I've wasted any hope of ever "making it" by not trying hard enough. And the longer I feel bad about, the less time I'm going to have to do it.
Thankfully, I've managed to line up a therapist, and he's helping me work through my issues. He's very up-and-coming in his behaviour modification techniques. Here is an excerpt from our morning session:
A couple of things to note:
1. He's an exceptionally good therapist for a four-year-old.
2. His monster analogy could be put into a book. Brilliant stuff. Like, when he says: "I'll stab it in the back with my BBQ sword while dad distracts it" he's really saying: "With help from those you trust, you can gain the courage to conquer any fear." See? Pure genius.
3. I realized about two minutes after taping this that the "BBQ sword" is a not a "spear," but a "skewer." However, before you pass judgment, please note that this was a pre-morning-coffee session.
I don't know if this post constitutes "writing," but at least I got something posted. My therapist will be quite pleased.
1. Sprained shoulder (check)
2. Colds that turn into bacterial bronchitis (check)
3. Sprained shoulders promptly followed by bronchitis (double check)
4. Convenient excuses (like injuries and illness, for example - some mad check-age going on, yo.)
5. Riding on said convenient excuses for 3 weeks (check times infinity)
The truth is, I'm lacking in confidence when it comes to writing anything lately. I feel like this is what I want to do for a living - what I should be doing, and what I'm good at doing - and yet I haven't quite managed to attain that.
And I can use many excuses spanning a long way back - three babies, being home for fourteen years, exhaustion due to the aforementioned two items - but I know people who've achieved more with a lot more on their plates (Look at the awesome Laurie, for example, who is a published author, a mom, and a cancer survivor). What I'm missing is motivation, and that motivation is missing because I'm afraid I'll never make it. And, since I'm afraid of failure, I simply haven't tried.
So how do you get over being afraid of something?
I'm now I'm in my mid-thirties, and having what I think might be considered a mid-life crisis, whereby I'm examining the last thirty-four years of my life and wondering if I've wasted any hope of ever "making it" by not trying hard enough. And the longer I feel bad about, the less time I'm going to have to do it.
Thankfully, I've managed to line up a therapist, and he's helping me work through my issues. He's very up-and-coming in his behaviour modification techniques. Here is an excerpt from our morning session:
A couple of things to note:
1. He's an exceptionally good therapist for a four-year-old.
2. His monster analogy could be put into a book. Brilliant stuff. Like, when he says: "I'll stab it in the back with my BBQ sword while dad distracts it" he's really saying: "With help from those you trust, you can gain the courage to conquer any fear." See? Pure genius.
3. I realized about two minutes after taping this that the "BBQ sword" is a not a "spear," but a "skewer." However, before you pass judgment, please note that this was a pre-morning-coffee session.
I don't know if this post constitutes "writing," but at least I got something posted. My therapist will be quite pleased.