Is it just me, or has four years gone by way, way too fast?

It seems like just yesterday when a gate to the Netherworld opened up from within my womb, spilling forth the horned wonder child we now call Spawnling. With his birth came chaos and fury, noise and mayhem.

Truly, we couldn't be more proud.

It's hard to believe that our littlest gremlin is now four years old. One day, I'm staring at a faint line on a pregnancy test in my kitchen, quietly freaking out at the prospect of a third child and the thought of breaking the news to my husband, and the next thing I know he's telling me he's too big to watch preschool TV because he's four now.

It's not that we didn't want another baby, necessarily. I mean, at one point we wanted another one, but then two got pretty comfortable - and busy. But you know, a third wouldn't be so bad.  I mean, it's not like it would be another boy anyway, right? This one was definitely a girl. I knew it to the core, and moms are never wrong about this stuff.

Our "daughter"

Okay, so we found out at around 20 weeks' gestation that our daughter had a penis, and I had to give up the idea that getting enough pink clothes together to do a load of laundry in under two weeks' time. On the night of October 12, 2006, I became ridiculously outnumbered.

Right before he was born, I told myself that maybe he would have the blonde curls I had when I was a baby. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't look so much like his brothers and dad, and instead would take after me a little bit. Because frankly, these gorgeous looks of mine have been going to waste due to my husband's stronger genes.

Maury says: Geekster, you ARE the father!

Yep. Wrong again. He looks about as much like me as I look like North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Il.

We're like twins!

Do not take candy from this man

So basically, not at all. Remind me that the next guy who knocks me up three times needs to have weaker genetics, ok?

So he may have been unplanned, have a penis, and look nothing like me, but there is something really wonderful about our not-so-baby-anymore gremlin. He's charming, funny, engaging, mischievous, loving, and terribly cute (despite not looking like me - who knew there was another way to be attractive?) He is the perfect final notch in our fertility belt. The grand finale in our trilogy of awesome spawns. The best possible reason not to wear a condom that month. And today, he is four.

So happy birthday, my darling boy. I hope you enjoyed running amuck in the Museum of Nature today with our friends, the endless train of carb-carrying cargo that entered your mouth tunnel, and the presents your brothers not-so-lovingly wrapped for you as they yelled at each other over who should do what.

What love looks like (watch the claws)

My heart grew tenfold when I held you for the first time, for I had no idea what completion was until I met you, our littlest family member.