The post I wrote a earlier this week regarding the extreme suckage of my personal struggles was met with incredible support and positivity. Thank you.

Truly, I've come to expect no less from you, my dear friends and blog sheeple, and it's your own damn fault: You have set the bar so high for yourselves that you'll need an oxygen tank to breathe up there. You have let it be known many times that you are kind and caring folk. In fact, reading supportive posts from you is, I imagine, a lot like taking a stroll through The Shire. All those friendly little Hobbits, smiling at you, waving, offering you root vegetables from their gardens.

Come to think of it, I don't think a single one of you has ever given me a root vegetable.

Well, there's something to strive for next time, eh? Make a note:

Next time Maven is down, give virtual hug and send box of turnips.

Anyway, in order to prove to everyone that I am not completely down on my parenting despite last week's epic blow-up at Gutsy, I have created a list of pretty good examples, showing how I do not entirely suck as a mom. I'm going to call it something original, like Pretty Good Examples Of How I Do Not Entirely Suck As A Mom, or PGEOHIDNESAAM for short.

With such a catchy little name, it's sure to go viral in no time!


1. My children are still breathing. (Very important, but often downplayed)

2. My children do not eat a lot of vegetables, but enough of them that they don't have the scurrrrvy. (Said with a pirate accent for added flair)

3. Sometimes, when my boys are fighting, I actually care about what the fight is about and not just about how quickly I can help them resolve it, as I missed what just Oprah asked crazy Sarah Palin, and it's not like I have a PVR or anything, and ... Oh, sorry. Why are you yelling about again?

4. When I buy junk food, I don't always share it with my children. Sometimes I hide it until they go to bed, so as to not damage their delicate hearts before they even hit the college years. It's one of the many sacrifices I make as a parent.

5. I do not always use t.v. as a babysitter. Sometimes, I use video games.

6. I make lunches in the morning, blurry-eyed and rushed, not because I'm too lazy and selfish the night before to fulfill even one more parental responsibility, but because it's fresher. Yeah... Fresher.

7. Sometimes, I introduce my kids to a lame 80's movie not only because I get to selfishly relive my childhood through their eyes, but also because maybe they'll actually like it. I'm nice like that.

8. I might occasionally pay Intrepid to babysit by buying him a bag of chips, but that's because he likes chips, ok? What does a thirteen-year-old need money for? He's just going to buy junk food with it anyway. I'm saving him the trouble.

9. Speaking of food, nearly all our dinners include at least one vegetable. Sometimes the vegetable is called "tomato sauce out of a jar," and Gutsy won't eat it, but whatever. Does Gutsy have the scurrrrvy? No. So bugger off and quit judging.

10. I can name at least four or five times in the last thirteen years when I've gone to a Tim Hortons with the sole purpose of getting something for the kids. And I was only pregnant and grossed out by coffee maybe two or three of those times. One day, they shall canonize me: Mary Maven, Saint of Not-Always-Selfish Drive-Thru Visits.

I think I've proved my point; I am beautifully imperfect in every way, but especially when it comes to raising the next generation of Mavens. You may celebrate my mediocrity by erecting a statue in my honour. I will come to the unveiling, but only if coffee is being served. Oh, and donuts. You know, for my kids.

Saintly, I tell you.