Yesterday afternoon, at the water park:

"Pixie," I say as we're sitting on the grass doing our nails while the gremlins build mud castles in the sand. "Want to see something hilarious? Spawnling says 'bum' like 'boom'. He'll run around saying 'I'm touching my boom!' and giggle."

I call my two-and-a-half-year-old over to show off his new talent: "Spawn, come here, please!"

"Yeah, mom?" Spawn shouts as he runs over to us.

"Hey, buddy. Whatever you do, don't touch your bum!"

Spawnling looks a bit confused. "...I not touching it."

Realizing my son hasn't figured out our reverse psychology game, I say "Spawn, whatever you do, don't touch your bum!" and add a nearly legitimate sounding "Hahaha!" for good measure.

Spawn's eyes narrow and his mouth turns up in a grin. Finally, he's figured it out.

But things turn so quickly I don't see the next play coming. He picks up an empty Diet Pepsi can. "I not touching my boom, mom!" He giggles as he puts the can on his groin. "I touching my peeeenis! My peeeeeenis! Look, mom! Look, Pixie! I touching my penis! I touching it!."

Spawnling: 1

The Maven: 0, as per usual. A formidable opponent, that child is.