Rowan Jetté Knox

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A Thank You From The Maven

Here I was, on my merrily feeling sorry for myself today, with my Spawnling's missing tooth so very apparent and the weight of yesterday's traumatic experience resting heavily on my already overburdened shoulders (*cue violinists*), when a flurry of comments on my last post started pouring in.

And then I realized something: There are six billion people in the world, and at least fifteen of them are telling me I don't completely suck as a mother.

Fifteen! Fifteen whole, real, live people!

Well, I think. Some of them may have been bots, but there's way of knowing that for sure. They were sincere sounding bots, at least.

Let's do some simple math:

I am 1 person with one opinion.

The commenters are 15 persons with 1 unanimous opinion that differs from my own.

Since we live in a democratic society and vote on important topics like parent suckage, it looks like my pity party of one did not get elected.

It's hard not to let those kinds of numbers turn a frown upside down. Suddenly, I realized that perhaps I'm not quite as sucktastic at this parenting thing as I had thought. That what I've been thinking is not only wrong, but irrelevant: In the end, it's what other people think of me that really matters.

I'm so glad you could sort my problems out for me. Truly, I am a better person because of you. I will hold my head up a little higher now that I know I'm not the only one in the enamel-less offspring club, and that you'll still read my blog even though I can make up crazy shit like elephants hiding in toof jungles.

And for those of you who live nearby, I shall bake you cookies as a thank you. The rest of you will have to look at pictures of the cookies and imagine you're eating them. I'm sorry, but they don't tend to ship well to Asia.

An update on Spawnling: He's really feeling better. I think he only hit three or four times today! ... Well, less than ten, anyway. And sure, he yelled at me to cut up his apple, but who can blame the kid? I should have known to do that anyway for the next few days. How insensitive. That must be why he pulled my hair and wouldn't let go. Serves me right.

*Sigh*.

Same ol' Spawn, one less tooth.

The fewer to bite you with, my dear.

Also, did I mention Barack Freaking Obama will be in my town tomorrow? Too bad I have zero inclination to bring Spawnling downtown to stand in the cold so we can watch his motorcade go by and possibly get trampled on by secret service snipers. I'll just watch it go down on t.v. and pretend like I somehow shared in this historic moment, or something.