Anyone Want To Be My Publicist?
Firstly, I'd like to apologize to the person who did a search today for 'crowded German train' and stumbled upon my blog. Unfortumately I am not German nor am I a train, although I have been mistake for both on several occasions. You must have felt so mislead. If it helps any, my stomach is crowded with fat cells, but I would compare it more to a Manhattan subway car than anything.
So, anyway, I sold my soul today.
See, I joined the community association a couple of months ago and whored myself out not only as their secretary, but also as their writer and reporter. As it turns out our president has sweet connections on the city level, including the editor of our local weekly newspaper. And today I was able to submit an article on the winter carnival we had this afternoon, via el presidente.
Game. Set. Match. Maven.
If all goes well and I did my soul selling properly, I will have a published article by Tuesday morning. It will hit about 35,000 doorsteps by Wednesday afternoon, and I will be rich and famous.
By "rich" I mean I will have earned zero dollars and by "famous" I mean about ten people might actually read my name along with the teeny little article, and some of my friends may Facebook me and say "Hey! I saw your name in the paper today!"
Yep, rich and famous.
The point is, I will have the very first thing I can put in my portfolio. I can say "look at me! I'm a published author!" and not be lying. Isn't that great?
You must be terribly excited for me. A parade may be in order. Feel free to send me pictures if it's not a local event that I will be reporting on.
I wonder how being rich and famous is going to change me. I hope not a whole lot. I'll still be the sarcastic bitch I've always been, be fashionably late to playdates, forget to brush my children's teeth in the morning and expect a certain amount of free coffee from my friends. The only difference is that I'll also have to fight off the swarms of Paparazzi.
I wonder when I should interview for bodyguards? Maybe I should look at getting the organic chocolatier first. Priorities.
So, anyway, I sold my soul today.
See, I joined the community association a couple of months ago and whored myself out not only as their secretary, but also as their writer and reporter. As it turns out our president has sweet connections on the city level, including the editor of our local weekly newspaper. And today I was able to submit an article on the winter carnival we had this afternoon, via el presidente.
Game. Set. Match. Maven.
If all goes well and I did my soul selling properly, I will have a published article by Tuesday morning. It will hit about 35,000 doorsteps by Wednesday afternoon, and I will be rich and famous.
By "rich" I mean I will have earned zero dollars and by "famous" I mean about ten people might actually read my name along with the teeny little article, and some of my friends may Facebook me and say "Hey! I saw your name in the paper today!"
Yep, rich and famous.
The point is, I will have the very first thing I can put in my portfolio. I can say "look at me! I'm a published author!" and not be lying. Isn't that great?
You must be terribly excited for me. A parade may be in order. Feel free to send me pictures if it's not a local event that I will be reporting on.
I wonder how being rich and famous is going to change me. I hope not a whole lot. I'll still be the sarcastic bitch I've always been, be fashionably late to playdates, forget to brush my children's teeth in the morning and expect a certain amount of free coffee from my friends. The only difference is that I'll also have to fight off the swarms of Paparazzi.
I wonder when I should interview for bodyguards? Maybe I should look at getting the organic chocolatier first. Priorities.