Hump this.
A little rant to get my morning started.
Intrepid's school bus stops in front of the house, on the opposite side of the road. It's not a busy road, but it's a long stretch and you can clearly see the bus from a good distance away.
This morning, right after Intrepid boarded the bus and just after the flashing lights were turned off, a pickup truck passed the bus right in front of our house. The bus didn't see the pickup truck beside it as it started to pull away (because, you know, most people don't pass school buses full of children that just finished picking someone up) and the guy was forced into a ditch full of snow.
I was snoozing in my bed (after a long night of "sleeping" in Spawnling's bed) when I heard the honking followed closely by the sound of stuck tires. So, everyone asks themselves, what would The Maven do?
Answer: Nothing, other than making coffee and watching the guy try and dig himself out of a ditch.
Sorry, but I have no sympathy for a guy who passes a school bus because he's too impatient to wait ten seconds. Geekster and I stayed inside and tried not to boil over in anger at the guy who just endangered our son and his schoolmates.
Then our wonderful, elderly neighbour came out and started shoveling Truck Guy out. Elderly neighbour has a heart condition. He helps everyone. He even snow-blows our driveway for us on a regular basis out of the kindness of his heart. So Geekster put his boots on and went out to help at that point. We didn't want elderly neighbour guy to hurt himself.
He came in shaking his head. He said the guy was nice enough, but he had a small child in the car and was trying to get him to daycare.
...
Ok, so you dangerously passed a bunch of children on a bus so you could get your child to daycare on time? You know, the place that cares for your child and where you expect to find him safe and sound at the end of each day and not killed by some idiot driver?
I doth thinketh Truck Guy is quite dense.
Anyway...
So my doctor tells me I have low iron. I'm borderline anemic.
Some people would be concerned and want to increase their iron intake. Not so fast, I say. There's a silver lining to every equation. Follow the white rabbit, Neo, and see what I mean...
If I'm dreading the challenging, nay, brutal pilates workout beckoning me with it's purple weighted balls and gentle music and intense abs toning exercises, I can ask myself 'How's my iron today?' If I answer with 'Maven, your iron is fairly low and you may want to consider sitting on your plump fanny drinking coffee to be your workout today' then I can choose to listen.
If my husband comes home and trips over the sea of toys in the livingroom (the livingroom is adjacent to the playroom and I believe the toys have begun using it as a migratory stop), gives me that 'Why are you watching Oprah and Doctor Oz dissect a pancreas when you could be making the room less life-threatening' look, I can say 'Sorry, honey. So tired. Low iron, you know.'
Don't want to go to a school board meeting? Low iron. No energy.
Don't want to eat scary vegetarian meal consisting of eggplant and cabbage? Low iron. Where's the beef?
So perhaps the trick is not to let my iron get any lower, but maybe not let it get much higher, either. Striking a balance could buy me a ticket into permanent slackdom.
Well, if I want to gain another 80 pounds while watching the latest must-have fashions while my children break their limbs on a floor spattered with Transformers and Webkins, anyway.
Maybe this isn't such a good idea, after all. Maybe my ass will stop hurting once I do the pilates video every second day as recommended and not every second week, which is Maven-recommended. Maybe I want to ensure the safety of my family by keeping the debris off the carpet. Maybe I'll come to love eggplant, in time.
...Nope. I don't think I'll ever have anything but loathing for eggplant.
Besides, building up my iron might be fun. The doctor would like me to eat one big, iron-rich burger every week. She said if I do that I'll build my stores back up in no time.
So basically I have carte blanche to eat one artery-clogging meal every seven days, as long as it contains iron. Please get a parade ready on Main St, Saturated Fat Land, because here I come!
Intrepid's school bus stops in front of the house, on the opposite side of the road. It's not a busy road, but it's a long stretch and you can clearly see the bus from a good distance away.
This morning, right after Intrepid boarded the bus and just after the flashing lights were turned off, a pickup truck passed the bus right in front of our house. The bus didn't see the pickup truck beside it as it started to pull away (because, you know, most people don't pass school buses full of children that just finished picking someone up) and the guy was forced into a ditch full of snow.
I was snoozing in my bed (after a long night of "sleeping" in Spawnling's bed) when I heard the honking followed closely by the sound of stuck tires. So, everyone asks themselves, what would The Maven do?
Answer: Nothing, other than making coffee and watching the guy try and dig himself out of a ditch.
Sorry, but I have no sympathy for a guy who passes a school bus because he's too impatient to wait ten seconds. Geekster and I stayed inside and tried not to boil over in anger at the guy who just endangered our son and his schoolmates.
Then our wonderful, elderly neighbour came out and started shoveling Truck Guy out. Elderly neighbour has a heart condition. He helps everyone. He even snow-blows our driveway for us on a regular basis out of the kindness of his heart. So Geekster put his boots on and went out to help at that point. We didn't want elderly neighbour guy to hurt himself.
He came in shaking his head. He said the guy was nice enough, but he had a small child in the car and was trying to get him to daycare.
...
Ok, so you dangerously passed a bunch of children on a bus so you could get your child to daycare on time? You know, the place that cares for your child and where you expect to find him safe and sound at the end of each day and not killed by some idiot driver?
I doth thinketh Truck Guy is quite dense.
Anyway...
So my doctor tells me I have low iron. I'm borderline anemic.
Some people would be concerned and want to increase their iron intake. Not so fast, I say. There's a silver lining to every equation. Follow the white rabbit, Neo, and see what I mean...
If I'm dreading the challenging, nay, brutal pilates workout beckoning me with it's purple weighted balls and gentle music and intense abs toning exercises, I can ask myself 'How's my iron today?' If I answer with 'Maven, your iron is fairly low and you may want to consider sitting on your plump fanny drinking coffee to be your workout today' then I can choose to listen.
If my husband comes home and trips over the sea of toys in the livingroom (the livingroom is adjacent to the playroom and I believe the toys have begun using it as a migratory stop), gives me that 'Why are you watching Oprah and Doctor Oz dissect a pancreas when you could be making the room less life-threatening' look, I can say 'Sorry, honey. So tired. Low iron, you know.'
Don't want to go to a school board meeting? Low iron. No energy.
Don't want to eat scary vegetarian meal consisting of eggplant and cabbage? Low iron. Where's the beef?
So perhaps the trick is not to let my iron get any lower, but maybe not let it get much higher, either. Striking a balance could buy me a ticket into permanent slackdom.
Well, if I want to gain another 80 pounds while watching the latest must-have fashions while my children break their limbs on a floor spattered with Transformers and Webkins, anyway.
Maybe this isn't such a good idea, after all. Maybe my ass will stop hurting once I do the pilates video every second day as recommended and not every second week, which is Maven-recommended. Maybe I want to ensure the safety of my family by keeping the debris off the carpet. Maybe I'll come to love eggplant, in time.
...Nope. I don't think I'll ever have anything but loathing for eggplant.
Besides, building up my iron might be fun. The doctor would like me to eat one big, iron-rich burger every week. She said if I do that I'll build my stores back up in no time.
So basically I have carte blanche to eat one artery-clogging meal every seven days, as long as it contains iron. Please get a parade ready on Main St, Saturated Fat Land, because here I come!