You heard me right.

Don't giggle, you pervert. I don't mean it that way.

I know I was a bad blogger. I used to post pretty much every day before Spawnling was born. Then I went down to three or four times a week and suffered huge guilt over it. Then we put our house on the market, bought a new one and moved and I posted maybe once a week or less.

Then I lost pretty much my entire fan base. I'm ok with it. They're just off in a corner crying because I wasn't filling their lives with interesting topics about kids and neighbours and lawn nazis.
But you know what? It's time to come back now. So I polished up the old blog, slapped on a new template and I'm ready to blow my own mind with my amazing posts and 0 comments. My posts are going to be so good and so frequent that I'll want to comment on them myself in awe of their awesomeness every time I read them. I might want to kiss them a little bit and maybe even get to second base.

It occurred to me that while I was away I wasn't checking other people's blogs, either. Lo and behold, half the people who used to fill my wothless life with the ramblings of their worthless lives have disappeared from the interweb!

We can't have dead blogs on a rejuvenated one. That just can't happen. It's like having old Tupperware at a new Tupperware party. Nobody wants to see your scratched up nastiness. They want the new shiny stuff.

So you are nuked, old blogs. Sorry to do that to you. I feel like I just sprayed a can of Raid through my list of special places.

On the upside, I'm excited to blog again.