"Jelly" is a very nice way to describe the lower half of my body after nine months of pregnancy. We're five weeks postpartum and I'm only able to fit into two pairs of jeans. The other three pairs are mocking me in the dresser. They cackle every time I reach for a t-shirt and yoga pants. Bitches.

I suppose the four or five chocolate chip cookies I've had today aren't helping. I justified them because I made them with organic whole wheat flour and brown sugar. Yeah, big difference there, Mave. I may be incredibly dense in some ways, but I never wore the dunce cap in cooking class. I know my food pyramid. Chocolate chip cookies fall somewhere on the 'occasional' tip, not squarely in the middle as the snack between lunch and dinner.

This is what happens when I'm deprived of caffeine. My addict self goes looking for some new ways to stay alert. Sugar is a poor substitute but I use it frequently and with vast amounts of guilt.


I also write stupid poetry in the wee hours of the morning with a baby on me. I keep trying to find a better use of my time when the rest of the world is sleeping, but blogging and reading other people's blurbs seem to be about all my mushy brain can handle. It's a sad fact these days. I hope to get some of my smarts - the few I had, anyway - out of storage very soon.

Spawnling is upstairs dozing happily on Geekster. I'm blogging with two hands. It's miraculous! I forgot how nice it was to type as quickly as I think up the sentence (which either means I type fast or think slow - you can decide which). I'm going to take this opportunity to check out some of my usual blog buddies and perhaps expand my search a bit. There are so many self-absorbed people out there with their own junk to write about. I bet I'll find some cool sites just by clicking on the links of people who comment on my friends' blogs. Yes, I agree: It's wrong that my friends have friends that I don't know about and who aren't my friends, but I suppose keeping me at a distance is probably safe. Nobody wants to admit they know people as odd as I am. Unless they're having dinner with travelling circus freaks. Then they might invite me so that I can be admired in my best light.

Afterwards I'm going to check out eBay for some Ghostbusters stuff. Gutsy is completely obsessed with the movies as of late. I'd love to find some of the cartoons on DVD or some oldskool action figures. I bet they cost a fortune. I shall report back with my findings.

Gutsy, Spawnling and I went out shopping with Jobthingy today. It's her day off from the horrible place that takes her out of my daytime social equation. She's forced me to make new friends, which is just too much work. No thanks to her, I've managed to make a few and rekindle some that had faded into the woodwork. Phew. Social circle remains intact. What would I do if I didn't have friends to hang out with?

Oh, right. I'd blog more.

And probably cry.

And eat more chocolate chip cookies.

That doesn't sound too bad if you factor out the crying part.