I've slacked enough. After several days of no posts, I expect at least half my readership have checked themselves into detox to deal with the withdrawl symptoms. No matter, I'm back and you needn't be without your fix any longer (the belly is gone, but the ego remains!). I felt your pain from the couch, where I was suffering through more Live with Regis and Kelly than any new mom can handle. After half of a Montel episode, I couldn't take it anymore and I came down here to pass off Spawnling and post about the whirlwind which has been the last 12 days.

The 'whirlwind' has been more like a small gust, really. I'm so oldskool at this mom stuff now it isn't even funny. Sure, I freaked out a little over the umbilical cord stump and wondered if there was an infection beneath, but The Madre and her friend (who has 12 children and requires her own blog name once I can come up with one) assured me that it looked just perfect. Sure enough, it's sealing up with no mad dash to the doctor's required. Sometimes - just sometimes - listening to your elders is a good thing (also, referring to them as 'elders' is a really great way to take their advice and insult them at the same time - it feels as good as a double shot of espresso in one's latte).

Spawnling has made the transition to a family of five very gentle. I didn't know Geekster and I could make easy going children. Apparently we have a recessive gene that pops up in at least 1 in every 3 infants, rendering them, you know, happy a lot of the time. Non-combatant. Chillaxed. Whatever you want to call it, this boy's a dream. He regularly sleeps 6-7 hour stretches at night, which makes for a very well-rested Maven. He also nurses like a champ, which means I was able to experience no engorgement for the first time. Full boobs? Yes. Painful boobs? Nope. I am truly amazed by this child. Throw in the fact that he apparently has escaped any hearing loss and we have ourselves a very different experience this time around.

Now that I have a child who hears at normal levels, I can clearly see the difference. He's much more responsive to noise and to my voice (which some people would refer to as 'noise', and I would have a hard time arguing with them, frankly). His little eyes and head move to wherever I am when I speak to him as he tries to search me out. I just love it!

Ok, rant time. I've been enjoying a babymoon and have been far too happy to bitch about anything until now. But really, what's blogging without some complaining? I spend a good deal of my very limited computer time on natural family living sites and the like, so it stands to reason that I read a lot of articles and posts from crunchy people, whom I usually relate to. But I have to ask: what's up with the sweeping cesarean generalizations? You know, the people who think that cesareans are the easy way out when it comes to birth. Or even better yet, the ones who believe we (the cesareaned mothers) are uninformed, ignorant and/or scared into the proceedure. I tell you, I've heard some really crazy stuff. I also believed a lot of it until I had Gutsy by way of the tummy.

The only 'easy' part about a cesarean is that you don't have to push the baby out. The less 'easy' parts involve being strapped down to a table, having a sheet separating you and what's going on with your lower half and baby, being stitched and stapled up in a cold operating room and recovering from a large wound in the stomach with pain that can take your breath away. So yeah, NOT easy.

That being said, there are many good reasons to opt for a cesarean. I'm fairly educated in all things birth-related and yet I opted for one on two separate occasions. My decisions were very well thought out and I have no regrets. There was nothing ignorant about my choices, nor was I coerced into something by fear-mongering health professionals. It makes for good discussion to believe that everyone who doesn't birth naturally is being bombarded with scare tactics or hangs on the every word of the badbadevil doctors, but that just isn't always the case.

Of course there are always exceptions: the 'you're going to have a baby that's too big for you to birth vaginally' tactic, the 'you're not progressing fast enough and I want you to have a c-section to fit my schedule' pressure and the 'once a cesarean, always a cesarean' doctors who frown upon a VBAC-wanting mother as if she were doing crack, but none of those apply to a good amount of the women I've talked to. Many of us are happy with how things turned out, don't feel violated, mistreated or misinformed. And in the end, we all have beautiful babies, many who are breastfed and co-sleep happily, as all of mine have regardless of how they came into the world.

Interestingly enough, I should note that my worst birth was Intrepid's vaginal delivery. His apgars were poor, I lost a lot of blood, we were separated for hours, his first meal was a bottle of formula, we had a hard time getting the hang of breastfeeding, my recovery was long and painful and I developed postpartum depression. Ironic, but true. Still, I would say that vaginal deliveries are best in the vast majority of cases. That's why I wanted to have a VBAC with Spawnling, after all. I proudly stick by my attempt to do so. I feel like a bonafide hero of a woman.

Rant over. Part of my job is to educate the masses, and since there are thousands - possibly millions - of people who read my blog *cough*, I feel as though I've done my part for society.

Spawnling is lying in a very awkward position. I should probably stop typing before I permanently bend his spine. I'm a nice mother like that.

The Maven, who made the incision decision using mother's intuition. Werd, G.
(I should have been a rap artist. I don't have a grill, but I do have an awesome bridge I could stick some gold and diamonds into...)