Hey! Guess who's having a baby?!
Please guess. Please. Don't say 'The Maven' because you'll be wrong. There is no baby coming out of this uterus any time soon. InUtero Boy is called 'InUtero Boy' for a reason. Did you know you can use Air Miles to stay in Hotels? Well, apparently you can at Chateau Maven as well, and the spawnling has a platinum card with 17,839,375,943 points.
Anyway, the answer to the question above is 'Kate'. I keep waiting to hear about her baby. Her last blog post has left us all anxiously anticipating baby Boston's arrival. Whats' up with that? You'd think they're busy or something, and that's not really fair. If I can't have my baby yet I need the instant gratification of celebrating someone else's baby's arrival. Not cool at all. The Great Pumpkin shall bring her no gifts.
I contracted for 19 hours before going to the hospital. At the end they were three minutes apart and just over a minute long. They hurt, they didn't go away when I would change positions and I was absolutely exhausted from having only slept three hours (due to the contractions).
Guess what? Upon a cervical check, I was told they made absolutely no difference. Surprise! And by the time we left the hospital yesterday they had tapered off to every 4-7 minutes. Bah, humbug.
No, I didn't burst into tears, but I nearly did. Very close. I've been trying to stay positive and all that crap.
The good news is that I got a good night's sleep and that I feel much better today. I have my supposed last prenatal checkup at 1:40, where she'll undoubtedly tell me - you guessed it - that there's no change. I've already concluded that this will be the case, so it's impossible for me to feel disappointed. Also, as of Wednesday, InUtero Boy will have been gestating for longer than either of his brothers did. Gutsy was born 11 days before his due date. Intrepid was born 6 days prior. I have 7 days to go until my due date and the Evil Entity is nowhere near ready to make his appearance and dominate the world. He's too busy dominating the inside of my body right now. He's probably done a bunch of cave drawings in there that will only be discovered when my body is autopsied later in life. By the pain he inflicts, I think he may also have some arrowheads stashed away.
***
Pregnant Pet Peeve # 5739: People who drive fast in school zones during school hours. Every day I drive through a school zone and every day I slow down to the recommended speed (or at least very close to it). Nearly every time I either have someone impatiently driving up my bumper or watch as they whip past me in another lane.
What the hell is up with you people? I want to slap you all senseless. McDonald's will still be serving breakfast when you get there 10 seconds later than you would have had you actually slowed down like you're supposed to. If you hit a child, you're going to miss out on your precious McMuffin completely because you'll be too busy, oh, say, GOING TO JAIL FOR BEING AN IDIOT.
Lately I've been paying attention to just who the School Zone Speed Demons are. Mostly guys in minivans. It's like they're afraid that driving a van already makes them look like a sissy and if they slow down and watch for young children then they might as well have a flashing 'I'm sexually repressed' sign on their foreheads.
Also, contractors tend to speed through school zones. I'm so anal that I can say for certain I wouldn't hire the guy to do my plumbing based solely on the fact that he has no regard for the safety of others. And don't tell me he didn't see the school zone.
A) He's a contractor and drives all over the city, so he knows where the school zones are.
B) If for some reason he's new to the city and not aware of said school zones and their indicative signs, there is a GIANT FREAKING SCHOOL there to tip him off.
I've often wanted to go vigilante on these people, but I don't know how. I've contemplated road spikes, but the whole potential of having them swerve into the school yard with flat tires might increase the risk of injury to the children a little bit. I could wait on the side of the road and hit their vehicles with paintballs, but I don't think I could run away fast enough if they come after me. It's a no-win situation.
I just glare at them. It's passive aggressive, but it makes me feel better.
Anyway, off to get ready for my appointment.
*skips* (hobbles) away....
Anyway, the answer to the question above is 'Kate'. I keep waiting to hear about her baby. Her last blog post has left us all anxiously anticipating baby Boston's arrival. Whats' up with that? You'd think they're busy or something, and that's not really fair. If I can't have my baby yet I need the instant gratification of celebrating someone else's baby's arrival. Not cool at all. The Great Pumpkin shall bring her no gifts.
I contracted for 19 hours before going to the hospital. At the end they were three minutes apart and just over a minute long. They hurt, they didn't go away when I would change positions and I was absolutely exhausted from having only slept three hours (due to the contractions).
Guess what? Upon a cervical check, I was told they made absolutely no difference. Surprise! And by the time we left the hospital yesterday they had tapered off to every 4-7 minutes. Bah, humbug.
No, I didn't burst into tears, but I nearly did. Very close. I've been trying to stay positive and all that crap.
The good news is that I got a good night's sleep and that I feel much better today. I have my supposed last prenatal checkup at 1:40, where she'll undoubtedly tell me - you guessed it - that there's no change. I've already concluded that this will be the case, so it's impossible for me to feel disappointed. Also, as of Wednesday, InUtero Boy will have been gestating for longer than either of his brothers did. Gutsy was born 11 days before his due date. Intrepid was born 6 days prior. I have 7 days to go until my due date and the Evil Entity is nowhere near ready to make his appearance and dominate the world. He's too busy dominating the inside of my body right now. He's probably done a bunch of cave drawings in there that will only be discovered when my body is autopsied later in life. By the pain he inflicts, I think he may also have some arrowheads stashed away.
***
Pregnant Pet Peeve # 5739: People who drive fast in school zones during school hours. Every day I drive through a school zone and every day I slow down to the recommended speed (or at least very close to it). Nearly every time I either have someone impatiently driving up my bumper or watch as they whip past me in another lane.
What the hell is up with you people? I want to slap you all senseless. McDonald's will still be serving breakfast when you get there 10 seconds later than you would have had you actually slowed down like you're supposed to. If you hit a child, you're going to miss out on your precious McMuffin completely because you'll be too busy, oh, say, GOING TO JAIL FOR BEING AN IDIOT.
Lately I've been paying attention to just who the School Zone Speed Demons are. Mostly guys in minivans. It's like they're afraid that driving a van already makes them look like a sissy and if they slow down and watch for young children then they might as well have a flashing 'I'm sexually repressed' sign on their foreheads.
Also, contractors tend to speed through school zones. I'm so anal that I can say for certain I wouldn't hire the guy to do my plumbing based solely on the fact that he has no regard for the safety of others. And don't tell me he didn't see the school zone.
A) He's a contractor and drives all over the city, so he knows where the school zones are.
B) If for some reason he's new to the city and not aware of said school zones and their indicative signs, there is a GIANT FREAKING SCHOOL there to tip him off.
I've often wanted to go vigilante on these people, but I don't know how. I've contemplated road spikes, but the whole potential of having them swerve into the school yard with flat tires might increase the risk of injury to the children a little bit. I could wait on the side of the road and hit their vehicles with paintballs, but I don't think I could run away fast enough if they come after me. It's a no-win situation.
I just glare at them. It's passive aggressive, but it makes me feel better.
Anyway, off to get ready for my appointment.
*skips* (hobbles) away....