Meet the new condo owners
We actually went out and bought the felines a cat condo. Can you believe it? It's not too shabby, really, but I can't get over the cost. I've decided making cat condos is the way to supplement Geekster's income (which we'll need to do since we just bought a cat condo. Hmm...) It looks fairly simple, really: take some wood and thick cardboard and glue it together in some funky shape, put cheap carpet in a neutral shade around it and tack it together. Smear catnip on it and dangle a bunch of feathers and a bell from somewhere. Sell it for $79.99 to some cat owners who are idiotic enough to think they can buy their kitties' love. Voila: cat condo!
It's truly ridiculous that we spent that much. Guilt goes a long way. Imagine what the gremlins will get for Christmas if InUtero Boy ends up being a really high-needs baby. 'Sorry mommy and daddy are exhausted and have no time for you. Here, Santa got you a plasma tv and a new X-Box.'
We had no escapees from Catcatraz today, thankfully. I don't know how much more Angry Neighbour will put up with. Also, I'm not quite clear on the 'your cat is scratching our screen door' complaint. I have questions about this: Is she scratching it to the point of annoyance? Is she causing damage? Are you feeding your own cat lobster entrees by said screen door? I dare not ask him any questions, however. He and his partner used to be so friendly and all of a sudden started to snub us for no apparent reason. They refused to say hello, would ignore us when we waved, yet gave no explanation. However, when he came over, he told Geekster that this 'cat + screen' problem had been going on for some time now.
This is where the urge to say 'people are so stupid' rises up from the depths of my hormonal being. If this has been going on for a while, did he really think that not talking to us was going to fix the problem? What part of the brain decides this is the mature way to handle things? Passive aggressiveness does not make good neighbours (says the woman who is writing this in her blog instead of talking to Angry Neighbour about it.... And calling him 'Angry Neighbour').
Anyway, enough about the neighbour fiasco. This is not the dumbest dispute we've had with neighbours in the past. Truthfully, it only ranks #3.
#2 Worst Neighbour Story of All Time: The Lawn Nazi
We live in a semi-detached home. Angry neighbour and his partner are on the other side of a (thankfully for them) very thick concrete wall. Previously, we had a lawn-obsessed, crotch rocket-riding jock and his trophy wife next door. They were anything but friendly from the start, mostly ignoring us and frowning when we'd bring toddler Intrepid outside to play. We were interrupting their quiet sun tannning (my favourite view was when she was very pregnant, sun tanning and having a smoke at the same time. Yummy.)
I digress... They had constructed a chainlink fence and had planted cedar hedges on the inside of it. About 15 minutes after Geekster had finished mowing the lawn, there was a pounding at the door. He went outside, only to be confronted by Lawn Nazi. Apparently, when cutting along the property line, our lawnmower had spewn grass clippings onto Lawn Nazi's fledgeling hedges. He was PISSED. The horror!
It took everything Geekster had not to burst out laughing at how upset the guy was. Lawn Nazi even went so far as to inform Geekster that at least they had bothered to spend the extra money and bought a lawnmower with a bag so these things wouldn't happen. It was only then that we realized that he was actually Ignorant Lawn Nazi. Every true Yard Jockey knows that grass clippings are good for your lawn.
Whatever happened to Lawn Nazi and Trophy Wife? Divorced. I don't blame her. I couldn't live with him longterm, either. Yikes.
#1 Worst Neighbour Story of All Time: The Dung Runners
Our dog apparently got out of our yard while my sister was babysitting one day and had himself a little poop in the neighbour's backyard. This was back about nine years ago when we were renting a home in a different part of town. If I remember correctly, the neighbour sent her young boys over to tell us (but we were out, so they told my sister) what had happened and demanded that she pick it up. My sister explained that she was unable to do so as baby Intrepid was napping and she couldn't leave him alone in the house. She said that she would let us know as soon as we got back and that one of us would surely clean it up.
The next thing she knew, the boys came back and threw a paper bag full of our dog's bidnis on our front step, causing it to break apart everywhere. 'Our mother says to enjoy your dinner!' they taunted, and ran off.
Very classy, those neighbours. I have to admit that I didn't shed a single tear when she came over not to long after, crying because someone had broken into her house in broad daylight. She said 'Didn't you see anything? You were home ALL DAY!'
I really, REALLY wanted to tell her I was too busy getting dog shit stains off my front porch to notice, but I kept my mouth shut. Karma did its thing - I didn't need to interfere.
So, in short, Angry Neighbour is but a drop in the bucket compared to the craziness we've been privy to in the past. And my mother wonders why we often dream of moving out of the city...
It's truly ridiculous that we spent that much. Guilt goes a long way. Imagine what the gremlins will get for Christmas if InUtero Boy ends up being a really high-needs baby. 'Sorry mommy and daddy are exhausted and have no time for you. Here, Santa got you a plasma tv and a new X-Box.'
We had no escapees from Catcatraz today, thankfully. I don't know how much more Angry Neighbour will put up with. Also, I'm not quite clear on the 'your cat is scratching our screen door' complaint. I have questions about this: Is she scratching it to the point of annoyance? Is she causing damage? Are you feeding your own cat lobster entrees by said screen door? I dare not ask him any questions, however. He and his partner used to be so friendly and all of a sudden started to snub us for no apparent reason. They refused to say hello, would ignore us when we waved, yet gave no explanation. However, when he came over, he told Geekster that this 'cat + screen' problem had been going on for some time now.
This is where the urge to say 'people are so stupid' rises up from the depths of my hormonal being. If this has been going on for a while, did he really think that not talking to us was going to fix the problem? What part of the brain decides this is the mature way to handle things? Passive aggressiveness does not make good neighbours (says the woman who is writing this in her blog instead of talking to Angry Neighbour about it.... And calling him 'Angry Neighbour').
Anyway, enough about the neighbour fiasco. This is not the dumbest dispute we've had with neighbours in the past. Truthfully, it only ranks #3.
#2 Worst Neighbour Story of All Time: The Lawn Nazi
We live in a semi-detached home. Angry neighbour and his partner are on the other side of a (thankfully for them) very thick concrete wall. Previously, we had a lawn-obsessed, crotch rocket-riding jock and his trophy wife next door. They were anything but friendly from the start, mostly ignoring us and frowning when we'd bring toddler Intrepid outside to play. We were interrupting their quiet sun tannning (my favourite view was when she was very pregnant, sun tanning and having a smoke at the same time. Yummy.)
I digress... They had constructed a chainlink fence and had planted cedar hedges on the inside of it. About 15 minutes after Geekster had finished mowing the lawn, there was a pounding at the door. He went outside, only to be confronted by Lawn Nazi. Apparently, when cutting along the property line, our lawnmower had spewn grass clippings onto Lawn Nazi's fledgeling hedges. He was PISSED. The horror!
It took everything Geekster had not to burst out laughing at how upset the guy was. Lawn Nazi even went so far as to inform Geekster that at least they had bothered to spend the extra money and bought a lawnmower with a bag so these things wouldn't happen. It was only then that we realized that he was actually Ignorant Lawn Nazi. Every true Yard Jockey knows that grass clippings are good for your lawn.
Whatever happened to Lawn Nazi and Trophy Wife? Divorced. I don't blame her. I couldn't live with him longterm, either. Yikes.
#1 Worst Neighbour Story of All Time: The Dung Runners
Our dog apparently got out of our yard while my sister was babysitting one day and had himself a little poop in the neighbour's backyard. This was back about nine years ago when we were renting a home in a different part of town. If I remember correctly, the neighbour sent her young boys over to tell us (but we were out, so they told my sister) what had happened and demanded that she pick it up. My sister explained that she was unable to do so as baby Intrepid was napping and she couldn't leave him alone in the house. She said that she would let us know as soon as we got back and that one of us would surely clean it up.
The next thing she knew, the boys came back and threw a paper bag full of our dog's bidnis on our front step, causing it to break apart everywhere. 'Our mother says to enjoy your dinner!' they taunted, and ran off.
Very classy, those neighbours. I have to admit that I didn't shed a single tear when she came over not to long after, crying because someone had broken into her house in broad daylight. She said 'Didn't you see anything? You were home ALL DAY!'
I really, REALLY wanted to tell her I was too busy getting dog shit stains off my front porch to notice, but I kept my mouth shut. Karma did its thing - I didn't need to interfere.
***
So, in short, Angry Neighbour is but a drop in the bucket compared to the craziness we've been privy to in the past. And my mother wonders why we often dream of moving out of the city...