Thank you, my lamb. It's nice to be here.

Hey, could you help me up? I seem to have fallen down beside you. Only my large, orange stomach is visible. Nice stretch marks, eh? All roads lead to the navel after three kids.

Today's post is dedicated to the less-than-professional deliveries supervisor at Leon's Furniture Store in Ottawa's West End. While I'm sure she's far too important to read my blog, writing this out will make me feel a lot better about the experience I had today.

I should preface by saying that we've been loyal Leon's customers for nearly a decade. Like a cheating spouse, we tend to split our time between dependable, always-there-with-dinner-on-the-table Leon's and cheap-but-easy Ikea. Their junk mail has been a staple in our mailbox. At least one small tree has lost its life so they could give us 'loyal customer' specials over the years. I don't like junk mail, but I've never complained because their service has always been good. Until today.

About a week and a half ago we bought a couch and chair from Leons to replace our old set (the first one we bought from them, back when Intrepid was a baby. They now have large holes under the cushions that have been known to eat small children whole. Now that my daycare is closed, I'm running out of expendable sacrifices, thus time to retire the old idols). We made the purchase easily and received friendly and prompt service from the sales guy. Delivery was scheduled for today, as they only make trips out to our area twice a week and were fairly booked up until now.

Yesterday someone called and confirmed delivery between 11am-3pm for today. I agreed, thinking I could get someone here for the 30 minutes I'd be gone to pick up Gutsy from preschool. Unfortunately that proved difficult, so I called them at 10:30am today and explained my problem to a guy in deliveries. He said that wasn't a problem and that he could make sure the furniture would be here between noon and 3pm instead. Wonderful!

At 11am - half an hour later - I received another call from him. Could I be there over the next 20 minutes? What now? That gave them until 11:20am. I said that was cutting it really close and that I thought they weren't delivering until after 12pm. He said 'Well, they're already on their way'. Fine, I replied, but I really had to go before 11:30. Again, I was reassured they would be there any minute, before 11:20. I hung up and waited for them.

By 11:20, no furniture. I scrawled out a post-it-note and left it on the door, saying I would be back by 11:50 at the latest, but I had to leave. I waited in the driveway another couple of minutes with no sign of them, then had to go get my gremlin.

When we returned home at 11:45, there was a note saying 'Sorry we missed you! Call to reschedule for another day' with a time of 11:25. I had missed them by five minutes. Not that it would have mattered, because they can't show up and have everything finished and papers signed before I would have had to go. There was also a rather accusatory message from the deliveries supervisor, basically saying it was my fault that I missed them, but feel free to call her back. I called her back only to get a 'sorry the guy who answered the phone didn't know our policies, but our deliveries come when its convenient for our drivers and they're not coming back to your house until Saturday'.

A long time ago, I saw a therapist who made me tell him my entire sob story of a life. After I had shouted out all the injustices I had been through, he made me write out 'I am not a victim' in a notebook 1000 times and bring it to him the following week.

I am not a victim, damnit. Especially while bitchy and gestating.

So, here's where The Maven starts to get all pregnant on this woman. It's not that I was rude, but Gutsy has taught me a thing or two about assertiveness. I told her I understood that the guy made a mistake, but that's not my fault and they promised me a delivery, so how could we solve it? She was completely uncommitted to helping at all. In fact, she was rather rude about it. So, I asked for the store manager's contact information. Her breath caught, ever so slightly, but she gave me two first names and said 'But they won't be in until 1pm'. I thanked her (it took a LOT of effort in my current state) and hung up.

Then, I did what any hormonally-enraged pregnant mother does: I called my husband at work and fought back tears of frustration at how rude and unfair this woman was. Geekster, of course, did what any husband of a hormonally-enraged pregnant mother does: he took matters into his own hands, knowing full well that if I went down there I would probably start throwing things and getting all crazy bug-eyed on the poor employees.

He got there before 1pm and spoke to a manager (not either of the names she gave me, by the way). The manager went back and forth between Geekster and the office where we assume the deliveries supervisor was. Apparently she told the manager she had called me five minutes after I had first called the store at 10:30, spoken with me and explained their policy. So basically, she outright lied and Geekster told him so. Back went the manager.

Funny how she didn't leave her office to deal with this herself. My personal belief is that you can't be a supervisor if you're unable to deal with customer complaints in a mature manner and instead must hide in your office. Then again, you probably shouldn't outright lie about things, either. Not very supervisor-ish. Not very nice-ish, either.

To make a long story short, there was nothing they felt they could do except deliver the furniture on Saturday. That in itself sucked, but the fact that she was lying made it worse. So, on principle, Geekster asked for a full refund - and got it without any argument. Leons lost $1200+ in sales and two very loyal customers, plus they had to haul the pretty couches back in from the truck with no home for them to go to. They also earned a negative rant about them on the internet, which admittedly doesn't mean much, but it makes me feel slightly vindicated.

I'd like to say 'Wow, I can't believe she lied!' but I can see why she did. This was her department's fault, and it was easier to put the blame on the customer than take the heat. What she didn't expect, however, was the wrath of a nine month pregnant woman. We are not to be trifled with. Geekster handled the situation eloquently, which is something I couldn't have possibly done, especially with Gutsy as my tag-a-long. Big props to him.

There's always a bright side: The Sister, in all her wonderful sisterness, offered to watch the gremlins while Geekster and I went to The Brick (probably Leon's biggest competitor) to shop for a new couch and chair. We not only got those, but a cute little ottoman, a protection plan, a reasonable and flexible delivery schedule and a nice dinner afterwards for about $80 less than we had originally spent at Leons.

There is a god, and he or she occassionally smiles brightly upon The Maven and her kin.

Deep Thoughts, by The Great Pumpkin. p.45:

Demand to be treated fairly. When it comes to companies, the choice is simple: if you don't vote with your wallet, nothing ever improves. It's a sad truth of a capitalist society. Large companies often forget about customer service in the name of the almighty dollar. So, if we use what they love the most against them, they're more likely to think twice and treat people more fairly the next time.

Oh, and ironically, all of this happened during Leon's Customer Appreciation Week. Thank you for appreciating me, the customer. I guess.